The Weekly Whaaaaa

(Originally posted on my old blog "The Domestication of a Punk Rock Foodie" on May 15, 2010. )

Escher, Relativity. The more you look the weirder it gets.

You're welcome.

Blessed

For never in this world
Do hatreds cease by hatred.
By freedom from hatred they cease:
This is the eternal dhamma.
~Dhammapada 5

Random Sauce, Part Eight

I'm just going to come out and say it.


I do not support the war effort or Canada's participation in that mess in the Middle East.  I do not recognize Queen Elizabeth as a queen, much less the queen of Canada.  I would never take an oath where I had to swear on a Bible that I would protect and defend her either.  I think it is time we removed Lizzie's face from our currency and stopped singing "God Save The Queen."


I'm pretty sure that all of this is going to get me kicked out of Canada, even though I bleed maple leafs.


Whatever.  Prince William needs hair plugs and Kate Middleton looks like she's been rode hard and put away wet.  Even the monarchy are not immune to human trappings like male pattern baldness and emaciation and fatigue resulting from blind ambition.


So there's that.


What I do support are the troops, the military personnel who took an oath to protect Canada and all that this country is and stands for.

Bless you for not being as selfish as I am.

Wordless Wednesday

Hard To Kill Plants

I love plants.  Indoors, outdoors, wherever they may be.  I, however, am not a botanist or a very good gardener so I have resigned myself to owning/growing plants that can handle a bit of abuse and neglect.  I can kill an African violet or a cyclamen in less than a week.

I am still amazed the big spider ivy monster at work is still alive.  This thing appeared literally overnight about three years ago and I have not managed to kill it yet.

I've owned all the plants listed below at one point or another.  If they can survive me, they will survive you.

LUCKY BAMBOO

I am currently murdering my lucky bamboo.  I know, there is going to be karma to burn off.  However, if you consider that its not really bamboo but a rain forest shrub indigenous to Cameroon, I should get karma points back, non?  Mine was sold to me rooted in pebbles and full of water.  You can plant these in soil but I am too afraid if I do that, the luck will be gone.  If you chose to leave this plant in pebbles and water, the water should be changed about every two weeks.  I am a dare devil and have not fully changed the water.  Ever.  But I do use standing water to water LB because LB doesn't like chlorine and if you let water stand for about 24 hours, the chlorine evaporates.  LB likes filtered bright light and warm temperatures which is why he currently resides in my bathroom.

ARROWHEAD PLANT

The arrowhead plant is also called the American Evergreen.  As it matures, it will start to vine so its best to plant it in a hanger or on a stand that you can train the vine to grow around.  The arrowhead plant likes indirect sunlight and fairly humid conditions.  This plant thrives in the bathroom but remember to water it often.

CAST IRON PLANT

This plant will tolerate a little neglect.  Or a lot.  The cast iron plant likes low light (keep out of sunlight or the leaves will become a bleached out yellow colour) and will tolerate irregular watering. That being said, with this plant, root rot is a concern so plant over some pebbles in a pot with a good drainage system.

CHINESE EVERGREEN

Like the cast iron plant, the Chinese evergreen will tolerate low light and a bit of neglect.  The Chinese evergreen thrives in partial shade and moist soil but they hate hate hate the cold.  Keep this plant away from drafts or open windows; once damage is done to it, it is irreversible.  If you are uber lucky, your's will flower in the spring or summer.  I have not had this kind of luck but have seen the Chinese evergreens in the planters at the mall bloom.

MOTHER IN LAW'S TONGUE

This plant is also known as the Snake Plant.  It prefers low light and will rot if over watered.  Seriously.  During the winter, you water it once a month as it prefers very very dry soil.  What I love most about this plant is that it absorbs nasty stuff in the air like nitrogen oxides and formaldehyde.

PEACE LILY

Like the mother in law's tongue plant, the peace lily cleans not only formaldehyde but benzene out of the air.  This plant needs very little sunlight and will thrive if you water it just once a week.  And the blooms can be damn sexy.

WANDERING JEW

The wandering Jew plant is lovely for a lot of reasons; it is easy to propagate and you can grow it to be different shades.  The more sunlight this plant gets, the more intense the purple will be.  This plant will tolerate low light but the purple will fade, leaving you with the white and green variegation only.  Generally you can water this plant just once a week but check it a few times a week as it is prone to bugs and aphids.  This plant grows like a weed and can get viney; this is when you give clippings to your friends and family or propagate them and replant in the bald spots in your planter.

Huuuuurrrryyyyyy Haaaaaarrrrrrdddd

(Originally posted on my old blog "The Domestication of a Punk Rock Foodie" on February 27, 2010.)

No, I'm not talking all sexy and stuff. I'm talking curling. I'm talking about Kevin Martin and the boys going undefeated to win a gold medal at the Olympics. Now that's hardcore.

MAKE
Menu (these recipes each serve four):
Herbed Bread Sticks
Chicken Tikka Masala With Jasmine Rice
Cosmopolitan Ice Cups

HERBED BREAD STICKS
I used a prepared pizza crust here because I suck at making pizza crusts… they always look like crackers or soufflés when I’m done. Also, this can be served as a roll instead of a stick.

1 tsp. extra virgin olive oil
2 tsp. dried oregano
1 tbsp. dried basil
½ tsp. fennel seeds
¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
½ tsp. rock salt
1 tin prepared pizza crust

-preheat oven to temperature listed on pizza crust tin
-lightly oil a baking sheet
-combine oregano, basil, fennel seeds, red pepper flakes, and salt in a bowl and then divide in half
-sprinkle half of the spice mixture evenly on the lightly oiled baking sheet
-roll out the pizza crust and then transfer to the baking sheet; press the crust down in order to have the crust pick up the herbs on the baking sheet
-roll up the pizza crust and cut in halves until you have 16 pieces (8 pieces if you are making rolls)
-roll these pieces out into bread stick shape with a ½ diameter (if you are making rolls, form the dough into pieces about the size of erasers); do not overwork the dough or it will be tough when finished cooking
-arrange on the baking sheet, about 1 inch apart
-cook on one side for about 5 and then turn and continue to cook for another 3 – 5 minutes, depending on how brown you want them to be coloured

CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA WITH JASMINE RICE
While I don’t generally use bottled sauces, using a bottle sauce for this recipe reduces the preparation time and uses fewer ingredients.

 4 tsp. extra virgin olive oil
½ onion, finely chopped
1 tbsp. ginger, finely chopped
1tbsp. garlic, finely chopped
2 lbs. chicken breasts, boneless, skinless, cut into 1 inch pieces
¼ tsp. salt
1 can tomato paste
1 tsp. red curry paste
1 can tomatoes, crushed, with juice
1 c. Tikka Masala cooking sauce
½ c. plain yogurt
½ c. water
4 c. cooked jasmine rice (cook according to manufacturer’s directions)

-in a large saucepan, heat olive oil
-add onion, ginger, and garlic and cook on medium heat, stirring for about 3 minutes; sprinkle the salt over the mixture so it will sweat rather than brown and burn
-add chicken to the pan and cook on medium high heat, stirring constantly for about 5-7 minutes -stir in tomato paste, red curry paste, crushed tomatoes, and tikka masala sauce and cook for about 3 minutes, stirring occasionally
-add yogurt and water reduce heat to low, and simmer until the chicken is done, about 10-12 minutes, stirring occasionally
-serve hot over rice

COSMOPOLITAN ICE CUPS
1 pkg. strawberry jelly powder
1c. boiling water
1 c. orange sorbet or sherbet
4 strawberries
Whipping cream (optional)

-stir in the sorbet until it is completely melted
-pour 4 martini or wine glasses (about 10 oz. per glass)
-refrigerate for about 2 hours or until firm
-top each with sliced strawberry and a dollop of whipping cream, if desired

THINK
Don't yield to the temptation of believing that the world can be fixed. Above all, don't yield to the hubris that you can fix it. Realize that your actions can, at best, make some conditions in the world a little more bearable, make suffering a little less painful. But just because this is all you can do, does not mean that you should not do it... do it in the face of all hopelessness. And why? Because to help, to be compassionate, is your highest calling... if you can't do this, if you won't do this, then you are hopeless. -- Dr. Stephan Hoeller

LISTEN
Jay Z Featuring Swizz Beatz - On To The Next One
Pink - Glitter In The Air
Sham 69 - If The Kids Are United

READ
So I haven't been able to keep up with my scheduled book a week pace. Mostly because Cosmic Jackpot required a lot of re-reading and going back to review (I'm not a physics geek but I'm a geek for the cosmos). I've put that aside and started Don Miguel Ruiz's Four Agreements: A Practical Guide To Personal Freedom

WATCH
In June 2008, J. K. Rowling gave the speech "The Fringe Benefits Of Failure And The Importance Of Imagination". You can find it here.  Even if you aren't a Harry Potter fan, its worth a listen. The speech is transcribed below the video.

VISIT
Architecture and photography are two of my favorite things.  Check out the The Kings Of Architectural Photography page here.

GO GREEN
To remove coffee and mineral stains from the pot on your coffee maker, add 3 cups ice cubes or crushed ice 1/3 cup water, and 1/2 cup salt to the pot. Swirl the pot for about 2 minutes, rinse, and then wash. To remove coffee or tea stains from a coffee mug, rub the stained areas with salt and then rinse with water. Repeat until stains are gone. Wash mug before using again.

Blessed

The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly alive. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Our First Time

There was the anxiety a few days before.

There was the epic hair removal session the night before.  Smooth from the eyelashes down.

This was going to be our first time doing this sort of thing and a girl needs to be prepared.

He was late.  My guts were churning.  I sat with my eyes closed, meditating, breathing deeply, hoping this was going to go well.

We have not known each other long and I knew it was going to be awkward.

This was our first time and all I wanted to do was vomit.  This did not bode well for me.

He finally arrived.  Told me to remove my "bottoms."  I also removed my top.  That is how I have always done it.  He turned around.  He was mortified.  This was not going well.

It got even more awkward when my cervix went AWOL.

It wasn't all bad.  We laughed, we talked about pedicures and Brazilians, he finally found my missing cervix, and when he was done, my boobies did not feel like they had been pushed into my spine through my armpits after they have been taken out into the hall and walked around the clinic.

And that is how my first physical with my new G. P. went.

Remember ladies, take care of your lady bits... regular physical exams, self breast exams, AND the dreaded pap smear are all a part of good health management.  Precaution, prevention, and early detection saves lives.

Go here for some added inspiration.  And boob lube.

And The Angels Sang... A Day Early

I.  Die.

Magha Puja

From buddhanet buddhanet:

"Magha Puja Day (Fourfold Assembly or "Sangha Day"): Magha Puja Day takes places on the full moon day of the third lunar month (March). This holy day is observed to commemorate an important event in the life of the Buddha. This event occurred early in the Buddha's teaching life.

After the first Rains Retreat (Vassa) at the Deer Park at Sarnath, the Buddha went to Rajagaha city where 1250 Arahats,(Enlightened saints) who were the Buddha's disciples, without prior appointment, returned from their wanderings to pay respect to the Buddha. They assembled in the Veruvana Monastery with the two chief disciples of the Buddha, Ven. Sariputta and Ven. Moggalana.

The assembly is called the Fourfold Assembly because it consisted of four factors: (1) All 1250 were Arahats; (2) All of them were ordained by the Buddha himself; (3) They assembled by themselves without any prior call; (4) It was the full moon day of Magha month (March)."

If you happen to be in Thailand at Wat Phra Dhammakaya, here is some of what you can expect to see at the Light of Peace Ceremony:

Remember, each light is one person.

Ahmayzing.

Duck A La My Back Yard

(Originally posted on my old blog "The Domestication of a Punk Rock Foodie" on April 29, 2010.)

Look who came for dinner.

It amazes me how I can live in a city of about a million people and yet there is this abundance of wildlife in my back yard. At first it was only the birds. Then the squirrels and the bunnies showed up and the birds had to share the bird feeder. Now we have ducks. I had heard these two had been around the neighbourhood for about a week and tonight after I came home from the gym, this is what greeted me in the back yard.

Sigh.

Some days are fanflippingtastic.

So I'm Really Doing This Thing

My passport came today.

Actually, it came yesterday but no one was around to sign for it so it got sent to the local post office that is renowned for being complete fascists when it comes to releasing registered mail and packages.  It is so bad, I have my online purchases sent to The Office because once it is in the firm clutches of those crazy ladies at the post office, you have to produce DNA and character references to get it back.

I was shaking so bad when I signed for it.  Of course, I had to sign one of those electronic pads that morphs your signature into hieroglyphics.  I hesitated.  Totally expected crazy lady to take the package back and tell me "No Mexico for you!"

Once I had liberated my mail from Canada Post, I stood at the counter at the post office and tore the package open.  Even though I went over my passport application a bazillion times and had others check it for completeness, I was certain it would get sent back and I would be told by some faceless government mucky muck that I suck at filling out applications and to try again.

I opened the package slowly.  Ohmigawd its not in here.  Ohmigawd.  Ohmiwait... that looks like the pages of a passport.  Ohmigawd.  It is here.  Ohmigawd keep your shit together girl and get outta here.

I buried my head into my chest and bolted out of there, stopping briefly at the ice cream cooler (there was a ledge there for me to put my bag on... I wasn't even thinking of the Haagen Dazs) to check and see if the government sent back my I.D. I had to very reluctantly sent to them because if they had not sent it back, some poor bastard on some customer service email account was going to get a snot-a-gram, the likes of which have never been read or felt.  O.C.D. makes you twitchy sometimes.  This was a sometimes.

The I.D. was there.  And the passport was still there too.  Keys and phone in the right pockets?  Yes.  Good, we can go now.  Effing O.C.D. kicks my ass all the time when it comes to things like this.

At home.  Sofa.  Dump work bag out looking for package with passport in it.  Inwardly remark that my passport photo looks like a proper mug shot of a lesbian with bad hair and how nobody is going to let me in their country when they compare that with the live and in person me.

Then it hit me.  I can go anywhere.  That thought alone made me weepy.  It was bittersweet.  All that time all those years ago Captain Celery told me I needed a passport, that it immediately opened the world up... I get it now.  You were right and I understand it now.  Sorry I doubted you.

Little secret, just between you and I.  I am a kid from the ghetto who only ever dreamed of going to other parts in the world.  When I was growing up, we were lucky enough to be able to afford the gas for the thirteen hour drive to my grandparents' place every summer.  I travelled a bit in Canada as an adult but never needed a passport.  Never thought I would.  Machu Pichu, India, Nepal, Tibet, Italy, Greece, NYC, Scotland, Ireland, and the Louvre in Paris had always been places I read about but had always seemed so far out of my reach.

Now I can go there.

Bittersweet.

Oh you may think I'm a fool for saying it out loud and that is okay.  You may have held a passport for years and think I'm just being a ridiculous, sentimental fool.  Perhaps I am.  But think of what that little twenty four page book does for you, especially if you are Canadian.

You can go anywhere.

I can go anywhere.

All those places that I have read about and have dreamt about suddenly got a whole lot closer.

Nirvana

Blessed

It's only when you have mastered the art of loving yourself that you can truly love others.  It's only when you have opened your own heart that you can touch the hearts of others.  When you feel centered and alive, you are in a much better position to be a better person. ~ Robin Sharma

Random Sauce, Part Seven

You can't stop fabulous.

~~~~~

The odds of you having a good day are pretty low when you fax yourself a credit hold notice.

~~~~~

The sound of cheques being printed lulls me.

~~~~~

Stress?  What stress?  There's no stress in chaos and anarchy.

~~~~~

Wordless Wednesday

Parinirvana

This Is Your Brain On Geek

(Originally posted on my old blog "The Domestication of a Punk Rock Foodie" on January 29, 2010. )

Oh laaaa, this is my brain all. the. time.

Blessed

I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone. – Javan

Fish Sammich

When I was in university, money was tight.  Like tight as Joan Rivers' face tight.  I had been raised on a meat and potatoes, boil the shit out of everything and cook it until its good and dead diet.


When money was scarce, I had to become creative in what I ate and how I prepared it.  One of the marvels that was created back then that still has life today was the fish sammich.  This particular recipe was created from leftovers on a Sunday afternoon and while the ingredient list may look sketchy, it is the perfect sandwich to have at home on the weekends.


AVOCADO AND TILAPIA ON RYE

Makes 2 sandwiches.


Ingredients:
4 oz. tilapia (you can also use cod or sole)
1/2 tsp. lemon pepper
1/2 avocado
2 tbsp. miracle whip
2 tbsp. low fat sour cream
salt and pepper
1/4 -1/2 c. shredded cabbage
4 slices rye bread
1/4 - 1/2 c. prepared salsa

Method:
-preheat oven to 375 degrees
-season tilapia with lemon pepper; you may not use all of the 1/2 teaspoon or you may decide to use more
-on a foil lined tray, cook tilapia for 12 to 15 minutes; ensure to cook tilapia through but check frequently after 12 minutes for doneness
-set aside to cool
-in a bowl, combine avocado, miracle whip, and sour cream; season with salt and pepper to taste
-go here to learn how to remove a pit and avocado from the avocado skin

-in a separate bowl, lightly flake the tilapia

-add the tilapia and cabbage to the avocado mixture and stir until the tilapia and cabbage are coated

-on one slice of bread, spread salsa and top with avocado and tilapia mixture

-top with remaining slice of bread

Happy Year Of The Rabbit

Wordless Wednesday

Spicy Chicken And Rice

It is winter and cold.  When I get cold on the inside, I like to spice it up.  OK, I always like to spice it up but let's keep it PG rated, 'kay?

Use a pan with high sides or a pot for this recipe.

Serves four.

Ingredients:
4 oz. boneless chicken breasts, cut into bite sized pieces
1 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1 can (14 oz.) whole tomatoes, cut in quarters
1/4 c. hot sauce
1 1/2 c. green peppers, diced
1/2 c. celery, diced
1/4 c. scallion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 c. fresh basil, chopped
1/4 c. fresh parsley, chopped
1/4 tsp. Cajun spice
1/4 tsp. salt

Method:
-heat oil in pan over high heat
-when oil is hot, add chicken and stir constantly for 3 to 5 minutes or until the chicken is no longer pink; reduce heat to medium
-add the tomatoes (and their juice), as well as the rest of the ingredients to the pan and simmer while covered for about 20 minutes
-serve over rice