Use What You Have Quesadillas

On Sunday's, I cook.  I quite literally open the fridge, plan out my lunch for the week and then create some chaos with what is left over.

For lunch, I was craving quesadillas.  Of course, I was out of sour cream and guacamole.  And, in typical me fashion, I bought the world's smallest tortillas.  Was I going to let that stop me?  Uh, never.  I also had another hungry mouth to feed, so no pressure.

Today's ingredients (makes 4 quesadillas):
3 oz. turkey, cooked, sliced, and diced
cheese, shredded
1/2 yellow pepper
1/2 red onion
3 crimini mushrooms
1 small tomato
1 tbsp. olive oil
salsa

In a pan with high sides, heat the olive oil.  When the oil is hot, add the vegetables and cook long enough to soften them.  About two minutes before you take the mixture out of the pan, add the turkey.

Remove from heat, spoon mixture into a bowl, and set aside. Carefully wipe out the pan with paper towel and return to the stove.

Allow the pan to heat up again and spray with cooking spray.  Add a tortilla.

Top the tortilla with your vegetable and turkey mixture.

Then add some cheese.

When the underside of the tortilla is golden, top with another tortilla, and cover with a plate.  This helps keep the heat in and melt the cheese.

Flip the quesadilla and cook until the second underside is golden brown.

Now slide that lovely piece of heaven onto a cutting board and allow it to cool for about one minute.  This lets the cheese set all over the vegetables and keep things in place.  Cut in four and plate.

Serve with sour cream and guacamole, if you have them.  Enjoy!

Christmas Puked: Ground Zero

Well it finally happened.

Christmas puked.

Kids, do not forget what the sacred wooden Christmas tree looks like:

She is going to find a home in another department this year.

I don't know if I am on the inside of a candy cane or if the walls and ceilings are now suddenly swimming lanes...

... but I'm pretty sure I'm moving my desk back into the warehouse, even if it is in a shitty drafty corner that I have to share with an inflatable helicopter Santa (who by the way rawks with not one but two motorized propellers)....

Can you max out on bad taste?  Perhaps it is possible if you have an angel with the dead bird tree topper...

... or a "new" candle holder which I am pretty sure is in fact not "new".  Unless candle holders are now being sold as cat  hair holders or a two for one cat hair/candle combo.  Which would be awesome if you liked cats.  I do not.  Sadly the cat hair did not come through on the pic but the horror of the holder is painful enough, of this I am sure.

So the Office Troll (formally the Office Dweller) got her wish.  A projectile vomit Christmas.  What can you expect when this is ground zero:

The following are a few highlights.  I actually took over 35 pics when I was in there but I will not burn your retinas out with bad taste.  Brace yourselves, its gonna get icky.

Garland reindeer on doggie pee pads (okay maybe they are not pee pads but damn they look like it):

 A teddy bear Christmas tree but most of the teddy bears have fallen off so now it just looks like a dead headless body drunk buddy hugging bears while trekking through the neighbour's hedge:

We cannot forget Santa.  Especially when he is about three feet tall and wearing the Office Troll's glasses.  Which she is always losing.  One would imagine it is to be expected when said troll loses a dot matrix (oh yes you read that right) printer under a fake palm jungle and singing and dancing Christmas tree:

See, I told you I am not creative enough to make this shit up.  I get paid to go to the Land Of Crazy every day.  Every.  Day.

So where does one work with all this Christmas glory exploding around them?  Allegedly in this space:

And Martha Stewart wept.

To be honest, I was getting all twitchy and holy-shit-my-A.D.D.-is-making-me-stabby when I was taking these pics.

Remember my desk?

Yes.  O.C.D. and A.D.D. live here.  I will cut a bitch if that dusty, mildewy, fur ball infested crap lands on my desk.  For really.  I like that my desk is clean and reasonably clutter free. 

Turns out I could work for Martha.

The only thing that can stay is Dick Tree.

 At first glance, you do not see it.  But it is a big corporate mushroom print.  I would like to take credit it, but it was The Temp who came up with this masterpiece:

And what does this have to do with "Where's Waldo?"  Who the fuck knows.  What does "Where's Waldo?" have to do with Christmas?

Exxackerly.

It Is Not Your Birthday

(Written on November 12, 2010 at 9:18 am at work)

The birthday girl wanted Boston cream donuts and that is what she got. And croissants because she likes those too.  I have spent two months trying to find out what kind of cake she wanted.  I finally had to break down and ask her what she wanted.  She did not want cake.  She wanted Boston cream donuts.  Because she was craving them.  It is what SHE wanted.

I didn't buy plain donuts for the people who don't like donuts with chocolate on them because it is not their birthday. If it was, and I had drawn their name in the office birthday cake draw, I would have got them exactly what they wanted.  This particular birthday cake draw is not about what YOU want.

It is not your birthday.

So go back to your office and pout. Like you are doing right now.  Even though we waited for you for an extra half hour because you were upstairs in a meeting.  We waited because we knew you would be pissed off if we did not wait.  We waited because we did not want to have to deal with your pissocity.

Come to think of it, you are always pissed off.

This is why I do not go for lunch with you any more.  Or do anything with you outside of work.  Lately, you are not happy until you have annihilated someone.  I grew tired of that someone being me about six months ago.

Here's a big mushroom print for your forehead.

PS:  I will be wearing the blue cardigan set I bought about a month ago.  Weekly.  I don't care if you have the cardigan.  I didn't buy it to steal your thunder.  I didn't even know you owned it.  Quite frankly, it is way classier than the tat you usually buy.  I bought that colour because it wasn't purple.  Like the purple set I already own.

Your girl drama is getting really old.

Words I Wish I Had Wrote

Now here's a mushroom print I can get behind.

Portabello Mushroom Pizzas

I am a huge fan of the portabello mushroom.  Huge.  I would eat them with every meal if I could and never get bored of them.  Sliced and sauteed in a bit of lemon juice, oyster sauce, and soy sauce... you now have a side for just about any protein you serve.

Later today I'm going to gorge myself on Thanksgiving turkey dinner, so a light lunch is in order.  Portabello pizzas are perfect for such an occasion.

For all of you who live in Canada, Happy Thanksgiving!  Gobble Gobble!

PORTABELLO MUSHROOM PIZZAS

Makes two pizzas.

Ingredients:
2 medium to large sized portabello mushroom caps, stem removed
1 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1/4 c. pizza sauce
2 spring onions, diced
1/4 cheese of choice, grated (I use either skim mozzarella or Kraft's Four Cheese Italiano), divided in half

Method:
-preheat oven to 350 degrees
-wash mushroom caps and pat dry; leave to dry gills side down for about 10 minutes
-after the mushrooms have dried, lightly brush the cap side of the mushroom with olive oil and put cap side down in a baking dish
-bake for 15 minutes
-remove the mushroom caps from the oven and pat dry with paper towel if there is excess moisture in the gills (super important or your pizza with be soupy)
-put two teaspoons of pizza sauce in each cap
-top with onions (and any other toppings you desire)
-top each mushroom with cheese
-return to the oven for five minutes
-after five minutes, turn the oven temperature to broil and broil until the cheese has melted to your liking