Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Happy 2013
2012 was a rough one and I'm certainly glad it is over.
As the year came to an end, things have started to look up. That whole end of the world thing did not happen (worst apocalypse EVER), and I discovered online shopping really is the only way to go when one is doing their Christmas shopping (read the fine print so you do not get beat down by a courier looking for brokerage and customs taxes).
There are no resolutions this year. It really seems rather pointless and feels like I am setting myself up for failure. "Do better" is this year's mantra... just do better and be better, in all ways.
One of those ways is my commitment to getting those Pinterest projects done. Tonight I made this very moist very delicious chicken. Quick hint: make sure the chicken breasts are snug in the baking dish or the topping will slide off as the chicken comes close to being cooked. This chicken goes great with pasta and vegetables like asparagus, mushrooms, onions, and peppers.
PS: Glad your back Captain Celery. I have missed you dearly and love you still. This year is our year.
As the year came to an end, things have started to look up. That whole end of the world thing did not happen (worst apocalypse EVER), and I discovered online shopping really is the only way to go when one is doing their Christmas shopping (read the fine print so you do not get beat down by a courier looking for brokerage and customs taxes).
There are no resolutions this year. It really seems rather pointless and feels like I am setting myself up for failure. "Do better" is this year's mantra... just do better and be better, in all ways.
One of those ways is my commitment to getting those Pinterest projects done. Tonight I made this very moist very delicious chicken. Quick hint: make sure the chicken breasts are snug in the baking dish or the topping will slide off as the chicken comes close to being cooked. This chicken goes great with pasta and vegetables like asparagus, mushrooms, onions, and peppers.
PS: Glad your back Captain Celery. I have missed you dearly and love you still. This year is our year.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Is It Friday Yet?
(Originally posted on my old blog "The Domestication of a Punk Rock Foodie" on January 06, 2010.)
I have been smoking at work. Go ahead, judge.
I’ve also been longing for last week where it was all about me and fresh pj’s. I thought I missed work. Turns out, not so much. The problem with going on Christmas break is that, while you are away, the paper gremlins come along and turd out faxes and mail all over the place and you are left to dig through piles of paper to find your desk. Rumor has it I still have a desk on the cube farm but its currently cleverly disguised as a paper holder. When you look at it from the right angle, my desk actually looks like piles of paper are levitating. All week I have been losing my mouse and keyboard which is cool with me because when I opened my email on Monday morning, there were 96 (not including spam) reasons to grab my stuff and go back home.
I think now would be a good time to adopt my niece's philosophy about asses and sofas.
When asked what she was going to do for Christmas break, my niece Janelle responded, “Park my arse on the sofa and read.” She’s eleven and deeply profound. Her verbage cracked me up. When I was half her age, I came home from school and ALLEGEDLY said a particular boy was a fecking koont (say it in your head with a Scottish accent. Uh huh, now you’re getting it). I cut Janelle some slack on this one because someone cut me slack when I was a kid and she didn’t rat me out to the Proper Authority Figures when I ALLEGEDLY said a sales clerk at Please Mum could go suck a bag of dicks.
Don’t be all judgey. You would have done the same.
Perhaps you would have had more tact and said something less vulgar but who the hell asks for your name, address, phone number, email address, and work phone number when you are purchasing a shirt? And paying cash? I still have no idea why this rocket scientist who was cleverly disguised as a sales clerk wanted this information. When I asked her why she required this information as all I wanted to do was pay for a $10.00 shirt, I was the recipient of one of those minimum wage sighs, followed by the obligatory mall employee eye roll, and the embellished “now I have to work” banging of the finger on the delete key on the till. I’m sure I’ll be going straight to her version of consumer hell for adding wear and tear to her trailer park low budget press on nail manicure, but I will never understand why purchasing a shirt requires surrendering my personal information. Consequently, I dropped the “suck a bag of dicks” bomb, Janelle giggled, and I took solace in knowing karma was going to keep that snotty little girl working in a mall, lunching in a food court, and wearing a name tag for a living.
Stay in school kids.
I’m not going to lie, I didn’t do much on my break. Apparently, I put in one day at work . We started at 8.00 am and left at 1.00 pm. What was actually accomplished in that time was nominal but the good news is, Whoville got packed away and it doesn’t look like Christmas puked in certain offices any more.
What did I actually do for a week? I stayed up late and slept in a lot even though I was totally convinced this was going to be the week I was going reset my body clock. Hmmm not so much. . The week was really an homage to pajamas and snacking.
I was completely relaxed and romantic during the break too. I made love to my sofa, love seat, chair, computer chair and bed.
In an effort to feel like I had accomplished something, I did two things. First, if something was tucked away in a drawer or closet and I was annoyed by its existence, I put it in the middle of the room and found a permanent home or garbage can for that item. Secondly, I ripped apart a wardrobe that serves as a book shelf and desk and a catcher of all things I can’t be arsed to put away where they belong. I did this last August on my vacation too.
How the hell did I accumulate so much shit in four months?
When I did this exercise in August, I was determined to keep all my shit organized. When I was done cleaning, sorting, alphabetizing, purging, and shredding, the inside of the wardrobe looked lovely. It was a ode to organization. For a day. Maybe two. Chaos started with ATM receipts. I save them and reconcile them with my bank statements. I used to be really good at this. Used to be. Every month when my bank statement arrived, I would be on it that night, highlighting and shredding and it was all good. Now? Let’s just say that the ATM receipts that weren’t in the bottom of my purse or preventing my wallet from being closed, were in a crumpled pile in a Ziploc. Did I mention I spend a large portion of my day accounting and filing? Scandalous, I know. I’m down to two piles to sort out. And yes, one of those piles is four months of ATM receipts.
MAKE
Menu
Banana Strawberry Smoothie
Scones
Quinoa Porridge
BANANA STRAWBERRY SMOOTHIE
2 c. banana
2 c. strawberry
1 c. milk
1 c. strawberry or vanilla yogurt
-peel and slice bananas
-wash strawberries and cut tops off
-put fruit in blender or food processor with yogurt and milk
-blend to desired consistency and serve immediately
SCONES
¼ c. cold butter
1 ½ c. all purpose flour
¼ c. sugar
½ tsp. cinnamon
1 tbsp. baking powder
¼ tsp. baking soda
2 eggs
½ c. butter milk (if unavailable, add 2 tsp. lemon juice to 2% or skim milk)
1 c. fruit or cheese of choice
-preheat oven to 350 degrees
-combine dry ingredients
-beat one egg and combine it with the buttermilk
-thread the butter through the dry ingredients until texture is like gravel
-add the milk and egg mixture and mix
-add fruit or cheese; blend through batter
-mix and separate into two balls
-flatten the balls into two disks, five to six inches in diameter
-slice each disk into four sections and place on an ungreased cookie sheet
-beat the second egg and brush it on the scones as a glaze
-bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until the scones are brown
QUINOA PORRIDGE
½ c. quinoa
¼ tsp. cinnamon
1 ½ c. almond milk (or soy with 1 tsp. almond extract)
½ c. water
2 tbsp. brown sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
1 pinch salt
-preheat saucepan over medium heat and measure in quinoa
-season with cinnamon and cook until toasted, stirring frequently
-pour in the almond milk, water, vanilla, and stir in the brown sugar and salt
-bring to a boil and cook over low heat until thick and grains are tender (about 25 minutes)
-add more water if liquid has dried up before porridge finishes cooking
-stir occasionally to prevent burning
THINK
You should not take part in your own persecution. – Bobby Seale
LISTEN
Pixie Lott – Cry Me Out
Dan Balan – Chica Bomb
The Buzzcocks – What Do I Get
READ
Chantel Simmons – Stuck in Downward Dog
WATCH
The Nature Of Things: The Everlasting Oasis
Start here:
VISIT
The future of books, here today… audible.com
GO GREEN
Have a swap meet with your friends. The idea is that everyone gets together and swaps belongings they no longer want or use. Anything left over immediately goes to a donation bin.
I have been smoking at work. Go ahead, judge.
I’ve also been longing for last week where it was all about me and fresh pj’s. I thought I missed work. Turns out, not so much. The problem with going on Christmas break is that, while you are away, the paper gremlins come along and turd out faxes and mail all over the place and you are left to dig through piles of paper to find your desk. Rumor has it I still have a desk on the cube farm but its currently cleverly disguised as a paper holder. When you look at it from the right angle, my desk actually looks like piles of paper are levitating. All week I have been losing my mouse and keyboard which is cool with me because when I opened my email on Monday morning, there were 96 (not including spam) reasons to grab my stuff and go back home.
I think now would be a good time to adopt my niece's philosophy about asses and sofas.
When asked what she was going to do for Christmas break, my niece Janelle responded, “Park my arse on the sofa and read.” She’s eleven and deeply profound. Her verbage cracked me up. When I was half her age, I came home from school and ALLEGEDLY said a particular boy was a fecking koont (say it in your head with a Scottish accent. Uh huh, now you’re getting it). I cut Janelle some slack on this one because someone cut me slack when I was a kid and she didn’t rat me out to the Proper Authority Figures when I ALLEGEDLY said a sales clerk at Please Mum could go suck a bag of dicks.
Don’t be all judgey. You would have done the same.
Perhaps you would have had more tact and said something less vulgar but who the hell asks for your name, address, phone number, email address, and work phone number when you are purchasing a shirt? And paying cash? I still have no idea why this rocket scientist who was cleverly disguised as a sales clerk wanted this information. When I asked her why she required this information as all I wanted to do was pay for a $10.00 shirt, I was the recipient of one of those minimum wage sighs, followed by the obligatory mall employee eye roll, and the embellished “now I have to work” banging of the finger on the delete key on the till. I’m sure I’ll be going straight to her version of consumer hell for adding wear and tear to her trailer park low budget press on nail manicure, but I will never understand why purchasing a shirt requires surrendering my personal information. Consequently, I dropped the “suck a bag of dicks” bomb, Janelle giggled, and I took solace in knowing karma was going to keep that snotty little girl working in a mall, lunching in a food court, and wearing a name tag for a living.
Stay in school kids.
I’m not going to lie, I didn’t do much on my break. Apparently, I put in one day at work . We started at 8.00 am and left at 1.00 pm. What was actually accomplished in that time was nominal but the good news is, Whoville got packed away and it doesn’t look like Christmas puked in certain offices any more.
What did I actually do for a week? I stayed up late and slept in a lot even though I was totally convinced this was going to be the week I was going reset my body clock. Hmmm not so much. . The week was really an homage to pajamas and snacking.
I was completely relaxed and romantic during the break too. I made love to my sofa, love seat, chair, computer chair and bed.
In an effort to feel like I had accomplished something, I did two things. First, if something was tucked away in a drawer or closet and I was annoyed by its existence, I put it in the middle of the room and found a permanent home or garbage can for that item. Secondly, I ripped apart a wardrobe that serves as a book shelf and desk and a catcher of all things I can’t be arsed to put away where they belong. I did this last August on my vacation too.
How the hell did I accumulate so much shit in four months?
When I did this exercise in August, I was determined to keep all my shit organized. When I was done cleaning, sorting, alphabetizing, purging, and shredding, the inside of the wardrobe looked lovely. It was a ode to organization. For a day. Maybe two. Chaos started with ATM receipts. I save them and reconcile them with my bank statements. I used to be really good at this. Used to be. Every month when my bank statement arrived, I would be on it that night, highlighting and shredding and it was all good. Now? Let’s just say that the ATM receipts that weren’t in the bottom of my purse or preventing my wallet from being closed, were in a crumpled pile in a Ziploc. Did I mention I spend a large portion of my day accounting and filing? Scandalous, I know. I’m down to two piles to sort out. And yes, one of those piles is four months of ATM receipts.
MAKE
Menu
Banana Strawberry Smoothie
Scones
Quinoa Porridge
BANANA STRAWBERRY SMOOTHIE
2 c. banana
2 c. strawberry
1 c. milk
1 c. strawberry or vanilla yogurt
-peel and slice bananas
-wash strawberries and cut tops off
-put fruit in blender or food processor with yogurt and milk
-blend to desired consistency and serve immediately
SCONES
¼ c. cold butter
1 ½ c. all purpose flour
¼ c. sugar
½ tsp. cinnamon
1 tbsp. baking powder
¼ tsp. baking soda
2 eggs
½ c. butter milk (if unavailable, add 2 tsp. lemon juice to 2% or skim milk)
1 c. fruit or cheese of choice
-preheat oven to 350 degrees
-combine dry ingredients
-beat one egg and combine it with the buttermilk
-thread the butter through the dry ingredients until texture is like gravel
-add the milk and egg mixture and mix
-add fruit or cheese; blend through batter
-mix and separate into two balls
-flatten the balls into two disks, five to six inches in diameter
-slice each disk into four sections and place on an ungreased cookie sheet
-beat the second egg and brush it on the scones as a glaze
-bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until the scones are brown
QUINOA PORRIDGE
½ c. quinoa
¼ tsp. cinnamon
1 ½ c. almond milk (or soy with 1 tsp. almond extract)
½ c. water
2 tbsp. brown sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
1 pinch salt
-preheat saucepan over medium heat and measure in quinoa
-season with cinnamon and cook until toasted, stirring frequently
-pour in the almond milk, water, vanilla, and stir in the brown sugar and salt
-bring to a boil and cook over low heat until thick and grains are tender (about 25 minutes)
-add more water if liquid has dried up before porridge finishes cooking
-stir occasionally to prevent burning
THINK
You should not take part in your own persecution. – Bobby Seale
LISTEN
Pixie Lott – Cry Me Out
Dan Balan – Chica Bomb
The Buzzcocks – What Do I Get
READ
Chantel Simmons – Stuck in Downward Dog
WATCH
The Nature Of Things: The Everlasting Oasis
Start here:
VISIT
The future of books, here today… audible.com
GO GREEN
Have a swap meet with your friends. The idea is that everyone gets together and swaps belongings they no longer want or use. Anything left over immediately goes to a donation bin.
Monday, December 20, 2010
My Brain Is Leaking
Today, I told Ali I was "just gonna hawt mess it through the day."
Not even sticky notes and pre-set alarms on my phone can save me.
Oh, you have no idea.
This past weekend officially turned my brain into leaking Swiss cheese.
Saturday consisted of six hours (I spelled it so there would be no confusion) at the mall with my nieces, getting their Christmas shopping done. I love them. I go to great lengths to be not only their aunt, but their mentor and confidante. But after theycaused a major health scare, and fiscally and emotionally bankrupted me realized it was dark out, it was time to go home.
Lessons learned? The customer service clerks will place bets on how long before you return "The Green Monster" stroller...
(imagine it with not one, but two seats, being navigated through a boutique style store). We lasted less than 15 minutes. Food court water is four times as expensive as gas ($2.24 for 591 mL, gas is less than $1.00 a litre... you do the rest of the math). The tooth fairy is now paying $5.00 a tooth. $5.00 for a tooth that is currently working its way through my youngest niece's digestive tract because she swallowed it while eating chicken souvlaki. Dinner at the food court should never involve the questions "Do I give her the Heimlich?" or "We have to make her puke."
It was only hour three when that went down. Literally.
I had nothing left in the tank when we got home. But I had wet sheets in the washer that I forgot to put in the dryer and actually dry so I could make my bed before we left for the Christmas Shopping Extravaganza. When I realized I did not have any sheets to put on my bed, at least none that were dry, I seriously considered laying hand towels all over my bed so I could just lie down and die.
Yes, I was delirious. No, I did not remember I have four sets of sheets stored in an vacuum packed bag under my bed.
I no longer had a brain to remember with.
Sunday was equally manic.
Four pails of fund raiser cookie dough. I bought it thinking it would be a time saver and a great way for me and the girls to bond over baking for the holidays. Okay, so the bonding part is shite. The day before, I had surprised them with $120.00 each for their Christmas Shopping Extravaganza. I had been saving some money every month for them.
But it was not free money. Oh no it, came with emotional black mail and a shit load of rules because Auntie is not Mummy and trying to beat sense into little princesses while in public is currently socially unacceptable and really not an option Auntie cares to explore.
The Rules:
-no whining, crying, complaining, or pouting
-even though your mother thought it would be fun times for you to have bags of sugar coated candy before you came to be my responsibility for two days, there will be no yelling, screaming, or acting like you just sniffed coke and need to scale the palm trees by the fountain
-while you have it in your heads that you are the world's most precious princesses and believe all the contents of the mall should be going home with you, there will be no shopping for you... we are shopping for your family's Christmas gifts
-when you are paying for your gifts, say yes to a gift receipt, no to plastic bags, and thank the people who helped you
-if you cannot touch Auntie or the cart you are too far away
-if you need to pee, you have to say something before it is running down your leg because the magic of the universe places all public bathrooms on one side of the mall... and we will never be on that side when you have to go
-if you need to rest because your boots/shoes/sister/the general public/the shopping cart/the Christmas carols playing in the stores/the current tilt of the world on its axis is irritating you, please politely ask to have a break
-do not make Auntie want to smoke because it has cost her a crap load of money to quit
-should you find the urge to break the rules irresistible, please refer to Princess J's story of when she was four and Auntie made her drop everything and dragged her screaming ass out of the mall and back home because she was a bad princess who wanted everything... Auntie does not count to three and follows through on her threats
-please remember this list grows every year because of naughty behaviour and Auntie Claus can very easily take all the stuff back and get her money back
Oh, and by the way, tomorrow you will be baking cookies with Auntie and all preceding rules will still in effect.
I will not be in The Office tomorrow. Why? Because Auntie still has her own shopping to do. Gifts and food. Uh huh. Dinner for about twenty and not a thing has been bought. Including the bird. Good news is, all the baking is done and I have my own Shopping Extravaganza down to two lists and four stores.
I am leaving at zero dark stupid.
Do not call. Do not leave a message.
I am officially on auto pilot and I cannot remember how to retrieve my voice mail anymore.
PS: I will be making these melted snowman cookies at some point.
Not even sticky notes and pre-set alarms on my phone can save me.
Oh, you have no idea.
This past weekend officially turned my brain into leaking Swiss cheese.
Saturday consisted of six hours (I spelled it so there would be no confusion) at the mall with my nieces, getting their Christmas shopping done. I love them. I go to great lengths to be not only their aunt, but their mentor and confidante. But after they
Lessons learned? The customer service clerks will place bets on how long before you return "The Green Monster" stroller...
It was only hour three when that went down. Literally.
I had nothing left in the tank when we got home. But I had wet sheets in the washer that I forgot to put in the dryer and actually dry so I could make my bed before we left for the Christmas Shopping Extravaganza. When I realized I did not have any sheets to put on my bed, at least none that were dry, I seriously considered laying hand towels all over my bed so I could just lie down and die.
Yes, I was delirious. No, I did not remember I have four sets of sheets stored in an vacuum packed bag under my bed.
I no longer had a brain to remember with.
Sunday was equally manic.
Four pails of fund raiser cookie dough. I bought it thinking it would be a time saver and a great way for me and the girls to bond over baking for the holidays. Okay, so the bonding part is shite. The day before, I had surprised them with $120.00 each for their Christmas Shopping Extravaganza. I had been saving some money every month for them.
But it was not free money. Oh no it, came with emotional black mail and a shit load of rules because Auntie is not Mummy and trying to beat sense into little princesses while in public is currently socially unacceptable and really not an option Auntie cares to explore.
The Rules:
-no whining, crying, complaining, or pouting
-even though your mother thought it would be fun times for you to have bags of sugar coated candy before you came to be my responsibility for two days, there will be no yelling, screaming, or acting like you just sniffed coke and need to scale the palm trees by the fountain
-while you have it in your heads that you are the world's most precious princesses and believe all the contents of the mall should be going home with you, there will be no shopping for you... we are shopping for your family's Christmas gifts
-when you are paying for your gifts, say yes to a gift receipt, no to plastic bags, and thank the people who helped you
-if you cannot touch Auntie or the cart you are too far away
-if you need to pee, you have to say something before it is running down your leg because the magic of the universe places all public bathrooms on one side of the mall... and we will never be on that side when you have to go
-if you need to rest because your boots/shoes/sister/the general public/the shopping cart/the Christmas carols playing in the stores/the current tilt of the world on its axis is irritating you, please politely ask to have a break
-do not make Auntie want to smoke because it has cost her a crap load of money to quit
-should you find the urge to break the rules irresistible, please refer to Princess J's story of when she was four and Auntie made her drop everything and dragged her screaming ass out of the mall and back home because she was a bad princess who wanted everything... Auntie does not count to three and follows through on her threats
-please remember this list grows every year because of naughty behaviour and Auntie Claus can very easily take all the stuff back and get her money back
Oh, and by the way, tomorrow you will be baking cookies with Auntie and all preceding rules will still in effect.
I will not be in The Office tomorrow. Why? Because Auntie still has her own shopping to do. Gifts and food. Uh huh. Dinner for about twenty and not a thing has been bought. Including the bird. Good news is, all the baking is done and I have my own Shopping Extravaganza down to two lists and four stores.
I am leaving at zero dark stupid.
Do not call. Do not leave a message.
I am officially on auto pilot and I cannot remember how to retrieve my voice mail anymore.
PS: I will be making these melted snowman cookies at some point.
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