Lord 'Tunderin' Jaysus Christ B'ye

So there is this wee tiny part of me that is Irish and I get a bit sentimental when I hear the accent or see pictures of rolling hills and valleys separated by stone fences.

I love most things Irish.  I love soda bread and barley soup.  I like my colcannon made with cabbage, not kale ,and it is spelled faeries, not fairies.  I like reading about Michael Collins and listening to U2 and The Commitments.  I cannot drink anymore and I miss Guinness.  A properly drawn pint of Guiness that is, not the shite in a bottle.  So.  Wrong.

So when something "Oirish" comes along, I cringe.  This gem landed on my Facebook wall:

I can't even.

PS: Westlife called.  Kian wants his hair back.

Turkey Dinner 101

Some of you are celebrating Thanksgiving today.  Some of us did last month.  Even more of you are in agony about cooking a big turkey dinner for Christmas.

You need to take a page out of Tante Marie's book.  I've been cooking turkey dinners since I was in high school, most times for nearly 20, and I do not understand what the fuss is about.  Cook the fucking thing already.  Nobody wants corn as a vegetable?  Well nobody said they have to eat it, right? 

Just cook the fucking thing.

Happy Cluck Cluck!

For Sacrifice, For Peace

Occupy His Arse

Sorry Henry, we are going to have to disagree on this one.  Now, this this dood is on to something...

Let me add, winters in Canada are reeeeaaaallllllyyyy fucking cold.  Let us see where this occupy business lands in Edmonton come January when its -45 celcius with the windchill.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday pretty girl!

Blessed

Occupy My Arse

It is really too bad that your liberal arts degree cannot get you a job in one of the very Fortune 500 companies you are protesting against.  Surprise!  You live in a world where it is not good enough to prove you can "read good" and spew a 10 000 word essay on oppressed rats in medical research.  I am sure your interest in 19th century art and the history of weapons used in the Boer War makes for interesting conversation at cocktail parties and fund raisers for PETA, but let us get something straight: you were out of your fucking mind if you thought that was going to be the foundation for employment.  Most of you owe your parents an apology and all that tuition money they gave to you.  Same goes for all the "flash cash" you asked for so you could beer pong your way through your third year.  Oh you know who you are.  I spent many a Friday at the Power Plant watching you trying to replace you blood volume with alcohol so shut it.

Before you get all bent out of shape and take one of your clever protest placards to my head let us get some things straight.  I started out university as an English major.  In this particular matter, I am the voice of experience.  I wanted to take classes that broadened my horizons, study literature written by the best of the best and have my mind blown by the debates in class.  By the end of my first year, my brain had been filled with vast amounts of knowledge about history, anthropology, political science, archaeology, and Victorian English but the fact of the matter was that this was not going to pay the bills unless I taught classes on Victorian English and let's face it, that is a pretty narrow market.

What happened after that was a re-shaping of my future.  I came to understand that I could always go back and study those things but what I needed to do was restructure my education so that what I learned was useful, lent itself to employable job skills, and gave me a foundation for future employment.  Jane Austen and Athena would have to wait.

Along the way, I took a few courses in economics.  I learned a thing or two about capitalism.  One of those things is the power of the consumer's dollar.  Oh you may think that the Walmarts and Chase banks of the world have all the power but the truth is, they don't.  They exist because you buy from them or do business with them.  Want to really protest?  Hit them where it hurts: the bottom line.  Do not buy from companies that fund/support/prop up things you do not like or agree with.  Same goes for places that offer services you use.  If you are reading this online, you can use the services provided by Lord Google, do some research and find out if that Capital One credit card is what you really want in your wallet.  All you do when you destroy the property of the "1%" is give them reason to charge higher interest rates on things like loans and mortgages and give you less interest on your savings; someone has to pay for the damage and you just gave them justification for doing so.  Thanks a bunch.

So all you Occupy Wherever can take your Marxist/Socialist ideals and rotate.  You are where you are because of choices you made.  Do not bother making your shitty choices someone else's responsibility or problem.  Trust me, the "1%" do not feel guilty about where you chose to be in life.  Have the balls to stand up, get a job, pay your taxes and contribute to society in a meaningful way.  You say I am my brother's keeper?  Well that asshole better get off his duff and get a job and I don't care if it is at a convenience store or bagging groceries at a market.  No one is too good to work at these kinds of jobs.  I have a hippie heart but I am tired of funding his leaderless, pointless Arab Spring field trip to Wall Street.  And tell the fucker to pack up his tent, go home, and take a shower... him and his new dreds are stinking up the place.

Amen.

300 Really Is Too Many

I was bullied in high school.  Not because I was gay, but for being short, for being fat, for being smart, for being ugly, for being poor, for coming from the wrong part of town.  And while I am not gay, having been bullied, I can sympathize.

The "It Gets Better" campaign always seemed to fall short to me; celebrities appealing to kids they have never met that sunny days are ahead.  Kids staring down the barrel of a gun that they themselves are holding know that more often than not, that celebrity is just jumping on a band wagon and that the words being said are being read off a cue card that a publicist approved.  Nobel idea, sure, but it still smells like a steaming pile of bullshit to me. 

Before I finished grade 11, two kids I knew blew their heads off with shotguns.  I was 17 then.  I am 40 now.  Things have not got better.

As Mr. Mercer says, we have to make it better now.

Blessed

She's Like A Bird

Ever been twelve and had dreams of flying?  Ever grabbed life by the balls and chased after your dreams?

She did.

When I'm up there, it's like I'm free like a bird.  It's just... its... the best thing ever.

Congratulations on your promotion, Corporal.

Wordless Wednesday

I Miss You, I'm Not Gonna Crack

Remember when he was on that really bad show about the alien family?  Remember it occurring to you that John Lithgow was on television and you had to wonder if he owed a shit load of money to the IRS?

Ya, it's like that

And just for shits and giggles...

Blessed

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So, love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't.
And believe that everything happens for a reason... if you get a chance -- take it; if it changes
     your life -- let it. 
Nobody said it would be easy... they just promised it would be worth it.

~ Unknown

Big Shoes To Fill

I could never run 1500 m in under four minutes.  Oh, I can walk it in under fifteen minutes but I could never run it in under four.

My cousin who, let's face it, I have been pimping on here, ran in the semi-finals at the world champs this morning (last night in Korea o'clock) and for a while he was right in there, keeping up.

Alas, in this race, it was not meant to be.

Geoff does not regard this as a failure but an opportunity to run with the absolute best in the world.  For him, it has been an opportunity to set the gauge for Calgary and then London in 2012; he has seen all this as a learning experience.

For Geoff, it was not a race lost but a dream come true.

I think Geoff said it best on his blog: "As I was walking up the backstretch towards the line, prior to the starting of tonight's 1500m, I looked around and tried to take in the moment. I can't put in words what it was like, I couldn't take a picture for it, no silly blog video would capture it. To walk the track among the best 1500m runners in the world, to be in a big, packed stadium, and to be wearing the Canadian singlet; it was literally a dream come true."
So the question I ask myself tonight is this: do I have the ability to turn my losses into victories?

It really is about perspective, isn't it?

Wordless Wednesday

Am Proud

Am also sick at home today.  It has been nearly two weeks with this chest infection and I believe I am relapsing.

I called in dead this morning.

My cousin Geoff ran his ass off  last night.. today... what time is it in Korea again? and has made it to the men's 1500 metre semifinal at the 2011 IAAF World Track and Field Championships in Daegu, South Korea.

You can read about his qualifying heat at CBC's site.

You can watch him run on September 01.  If I have done the conversion right (Daegu is 15 hours ahead), he will be running at 4.55 am Mountain time or 7.55 pm, local time.  If I've done the conversion wrong, complain to Lord Google that you want your money back.

(totally ripped off the Internets)

If you don't try to win you might as well hold the Olympics in somebody's back yard. ~ Jesse Owens

This Music Snob Is Officially Justified

Know your enemy.  Exploit their weaknesses.

More often than not, I want to punch the music industry in the balls.  If it had any.

Gone are the days when an artist got an entire album to “experiment” with their sound (ya, I’m looking at you Bryan Adams, while I hold a copy of Into the Fire).  If today’s music industry was flourishing 50 years ago, there would be no Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Tom Waits, Joni Mitchell, or Bob Dylan; artists who shaped generations of real singer/song writer/musicians.  By today’s standards, they would have been considered ugly, visually unappealing, and unmarketable.

Think about that every time you hear the guitar being played by Kurt Cobain.  Think about that every time you hear Ella, Etta, Miles, and Dizzy.

Recently, Adele said, “I make music for the ears, not the eyes.”  It is a sad day when a singer/song writer has to point that out.  And it shows us exactly where the music industry has led us.  Can we blame MTV?  Back in the day, yes.  But now?  Not so much.  Those fuckers don’t even play music videos any more.

Which brings me to the MTV VMA’s.  How can a station that does not air music videos any more continue to have a yearly music video award show?  Perhaps it is just me and one of those things, but I cannot connect the dots here.

What I can do is exploit the shit out of it.  Twitter style.  Cos that’s how the kids roll, yo.


I cannot watch the VMA's on MTV Canada.  I can, however, watch them on MuchMusic, MTV's competition. #overwhelminglyironic

Jersey Shore.  Suck my donkey balls.  Why are we still watching these twats over-dose on spray tan? #dumbasswannabes

Selena Gomez and Demi Levato are BFF’s?  Awkward body language and my Spidey senses say otherwise. #disneyrehabproject

Yes, Selena, they are “Cobra Star Shit”.  Talentless vag odor.  Not that vag odor has a talent.  Just saying. #vomitinmypocket

Seth Grogan, it wasn’t just a “long, weird walk.”  It was a long, weird walk down a plastic intestine. #constipated

Taylor Lautner.  Gaydar ping. #taylorswiftwasyourbeard

Nicki Minaj.  Say whaaaaaa? #hellokittywantshershitback

Foo Fighters.  Hallelujah! #thankyoubuddha

More Jersey Shore.  Excuse me while I void my bowels. #uselesscunts

Stop abusing me with these losers that star on your  crap reality shows. Dear Jebus, GIVE ME GAGA! #preshowmakesmestabby

LMFAO. Shufflebot? #fuckoff

It’s Britney, bitch.  She’s looking positively well medicated. #weaveisundercontrol

30 Seconds From Mars.  Time’s up, Jared Leto. You are a pretentious bitch and will always be Jordan Catalano. #mysowannabelife

Katy Perry.  I just can’t.  Hard work recognized?  Get your husband to take a shower and maybe we will have something. #stinkycheesedick

OMFG, Baby Jay Z Beysuz in the oven!!!! #thesecondcomingisimminent

Brit Brit doesn’t get Gaga’s Joe. #iwannabesedated

Gaga, Brian May.  Uh huh. #freddiemercurylives

"Whatever.  You don’t know me or my parents.” Kevin Hart, I’m hijacking that. #sassybitch

Jonah Hill.  Nicki Minaj.  #notfunny

Jay Z.  Kanye.  #mydiamondsareinthesky

Beibs, I know you don’t “get” Jay and Kanye, but respect, you stupid fucking bitch. #usherisyourbeard

Jack Black, I love you and your sexy break dancing ways. #iheartthismutha

Is it just me or does the performance stage look like a lady hole? #vajayjay

Add another name to the shame fuck list… Pitbull.  And you, Neyo, sir, you are going on the freebie five. #quiveringladybits

Katie Holmes.  Clueless. #iamanalien

Adele.  Am.  Breathless.  Her voice is simply amazing.  Lovely.  Just got a lady boner.  How adorable is she?  #girlcrush

Chris Brown.  Sit down, son.  Kanye, don’t just stand there, rush that fucker. #unrepentantwomanhaterandwomanbeater

If someone doesn’t shut that Jessie J bitch up soon, Imma get homicidal. #shhhhhhh

Britney Tribute?  Where?  Didn't someone say Miss Jackson was gonna sing "Slave 4 U"???  #suckdonkeyballs

Will Baby JayBey come into the world with a wind machine of their own? #unclekanyerawks

WTF is hanging out of Katy Perry’s head?  Is she wearing a brick of cheese in that pink rat’s nest? #stupiddumbembarrasmentwasteoftime

What is that botox nightmare sitting next to Kardashian?  Is that a shemale? #doesitmatterwhichkardashiansheis

What is a Tyler the Creator? #whoisthisnutsack

Young the Giant?  Will show up for your show, will bring 250 of their friends from back home.  To be on stage.  With them. #coswecan

Cloris Leachman has no fucking clue where she is or who she’s with.  Or maybe she just doesn't want to admit it.  Would you?  #awesomesauce

Tony and Amy.  Body and Soul.  #legacy

Bruno Mars.  I certainly would.  Even with that high top hair. #youcancallmevalerie

Katie Holmes. STFD, STFU. #whyareyouevenhere

Drake.  Uhhhhh.  I'll say your name, say your name, and wear you out. #iwanttowearyourcardigan

Lil Wayne. #anothershamefuck


I think Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters said it best: "I just want to say: Never lose faith in real rock and roll music, you know what I mean?  Never lose faith in that.  You might have to look a little harder, but it's always going to be there."

#amen

Shameless Plug

My cousin Geoff is here running his arse off, with hopes of competing next year at the 2012 Olympics in London.

You can check Geoff's blog out as he chronicles his training and races.

I ran and ran and ran every day, and I acquired this sense of determination, this sense of spirit that I would never, never give up, no matter what else happened. ~ Wilma Rudolph

Free At Last

The West Memphis Three are finally free.  You can go here to get caught up.

Why does this case matter to you?  We live in a fucked up world where your civil liberties can evaporate in seconds, where someone can point the finger at you and implicate you for something you did not do, and where innocent until proven guilty is a steaming pile of bullshit.  Ever found yourself in trouble with the law but were completely innocent?  I have.  Innocent until proven guilty is one of the biggest lies ever foisted upon our society by our alleged justice system.  Even if you are innocent, even if you can prove it in a court of law, it will take you years and thousands upon thousands of dollars to do so.  I imagine this would be an even more complex situation if you are incarcerated while all of the finger pointing and allegations are occurring.

The reality is this: you do not have civil liberties.  What you do have is the illusion of freedom and justice for all.  Be mindful of the fact that those who grant you your alleged rights and freedoms have no qualms whatsoever about taking those things away and will do so at their own leisure, regardless of what you think your rights and freedoms are.

Wake up.  Watch your back.

Club 40 At The Cactus Club Cafe

A few weeks ago I reached a major milestone.  Club 40.  Believe me, no on is more surprised about it than me.

Allegedly, there was a surprise party planned.  I call bullshit.  I hate surprise parties.  Hate them.  Like the kind of hate reserved for your most loathed enemy hate.  If you know anything about me, if you have any shred of compassion for me, you will NEVER throw me a surprise ANYTHING.  They never work out.  Never.  Inevitably, you have to pretend you are happy to be there and happy you were surprised.  You end up shaking hands and hugging people you cannot stand the sight of but they are there because the organizers thought their attendance was a good idea.  There will be activities that make you want to stab your eyes out or that make full grown men kick the shit out of each other because someone does not know the rules or cannot keep score/count while drinking warm beer.  Food that passes for a dog's lunch will be served.  The music will be provided by someone who has a hard on for 90's boy bands and American Idol and you will eventually want to give your ears the ol' Van Gogh just to make the noise stop.

Those are just some of the issues you face at one of these things.  And if you don't squeeeeee and give it some jumpy claps, you will be labeled an ungrateful bitch by the organizers.  No thanks, not ever.

Thanks, but I'll take my pain in other places.  Do not organize a surprise anything for me and I will not dropkick you in the crotch after a good old fashioned curb stomping.  Deal?  I am not usually prone to violence, but this surprise party business could potentially cause me to lose what is left of my sense of rational and cut a bitch wide open.  Failing that, remember, I like to be creative when plotting vengeance.  Oh, I can bring the wrath, bitches.

One ought to be able to do their favorite things on their birthday.  And this year, I did exactly that...eating, geeking, and humping.

In an effort to be low key and still have a bit of fun, Mr. I.T. took me to the Cactus Club Cafe at West Edmonton Mall.

Oh yum.  Oh my effing yummy yum.  If you have not yet been, you have to go.  Rob Feenie, Canada's only Iron Chef, has created a menu that is splentastic.

I had the blackened creole chicken with mashed potatoes and asparagus.  Seriously, this has to be some of the best chicken I have ever eaten...

The portion of chicken was HUGE.  I gave Mr. I.T. about a quarter of it because I could not finish it.  Neither of us could finish the mashed potatoes because I am sure the kitchen was mistaken and sent out an order for five on my one plate.  The asparagus was done to perfection and if you are going to eat chicken at the Cactus Club, throw yourself at this!

Mr. I.T. had the garden burger with a side seasonal greens salad.  When he ordered it, I had my reservations.  Mostly because when you order a vegetarian burger, you are usually served an oat-laden piece of cardboard with red pepper accents, but also because Mr. I.T. is an impossibly fussy eater.  IMPOSSIBLY fussy.  When this came...

... I had a wee taste.  If you had not told me the burger was vegetarian, I would have swore it was beef.  The patty had substance, it was juicy and well seasoned.  The entire burger looked like a real burger...

... not one of those alfalfa sprout laden, tofurky wearing veggie burgers you are used to seeing.  And can we just have a moment to celebrate the salad?  Spinach, romaine, that stuff that looks like dandelions, a vinaigrette to die for, and shaved carrots and beets being chased around by slivers of almonds.  It was the first but not the last orgasm of the night.

When you go, make sure you make a reservation.  We went on a Wednesday night at 5.00 and were out of there by 6.10.  When we left, there was a line up out the door and half down the block.

Much later, in an effort to remind me how important creativity is, how important it is to expand one's mind, how I need to be doing the things I love to do, Mr. I.T. parked me here and here.  Thank you for reminding me about me and how I am my best natural resource.  He is, admittedly, not the most romantic man on the face of the planet, but that had to be the best gift a person could give me.

I would tell you about the humping but Mr. I.T. and I have an public embargo on that.  If I had not been strictly forbidden, I would tell you that, when later discussing some of the judgey bitches at The Office, he reminded me that interracial couples are sexy and people would be searching for us on porn before them.  Allegedly.

*Note*  All photos used in this post are not even a little bit mine.  Totally hijacked from the Internet.  Because I forgot my camera.  Which is uber not cool when one wants to blog about what they ate.  Am.  Blonde.

Not My Chair, Not My Problem. That's What I Say.

Cass, thanks for the gift that keeps giving.

Seahorses.  Foreva!

Night Time Is The Right Time

Easily one of the best moments in television... the Cosby Show crashes into Ray Charles...

 

Blessed

The Curious Case of the 27 Club

Some musical geniuses gone by the age of 27:
Kurt Cobain
Jim Morrison
Brian Jones
Robert Johnson
Jimi Hendrix
Janis Joplin
Amy Winehouse

Yes, Kenny, the curse continues.

Drop In The Bucket

How important is water to you?  How much impact does readily accessible clean water and sanitation have on your life?

Food for thought...

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Asala

It is Dharma Day kids!

Wordless Wednesday

Happy 76th

For those about to rawk...

... we salute you.

Om Mani Padme Hum.

The Other Royal Wedding

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Harris...

Oh ya, that's right.  Totally hijacked it!

The co-mutual adpotion has been a blessing.  May the rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock always be with you.  My soft kitty is your soft kitty.

Now pass the gravy and hug me!

I Blame Cath And Amy

Am back.  On Facebook.  Ugh.  I feel like I just handed over every shred of decency I have to Mark Zuckerberg and he is doing unspeakable things to it.  This better work better than it did last time girls!

Yes, I remember what I said about Facebook and all its co-conspirators last year.  I still stand by that.  I have even more arguments against it (planking, homicide due to wall posts and Farmville) now and, quite frankly speaking, cannot wait until the next thing comes along.  Oh sit down Justin "I just bought MySpace" Timberlake.  Best you will do is piss YouTube off.  This business of you trying to be an actor and trying to relive your Social Network days makes you look silly, cheesy, and deficient.  I digress...

Are we fighting yet, Amy?

As a precaution, I have created an account that is part my name, part not.  So if you want to add me as a friend, and if I think you will not stalk my life and irritate the fuck out of me with your narcissistic wannabe bullshit are worthy, I will add you.  You can email me privately for further information.

If I do not respond to your email or add request, I want you to give some really deep thought as to why I have not before you blast me about it and start calling me all the bitches under the sun in your news feed, status box, etc.  I mean really really deep thought.  And then choose my answer(s) from the following list that best apply to you (and they do):
a] I am not interested in your drama.
b] I am not interested in you stalking my life.
c] I really just tolerate you because I find myself in socialized situations where I am required to or I may loose my job.
d] You are a friendwhore, we are not now nor will we ever be friends, and I would not be caught dead on your friends list.
e] Your "join this club" invitations and all the other spam you posted on my wall last time I was on Facebook created so much spam I had to abandon a much loved email address.  Fuck off with the invites, I can join myself.
f] We may be related but that does not mean I like you or would consider you a "friend".
g] You bore me with your feeble and pathetic attempts to look cool.  If you really were as cool as you want me to think you are, if your life was as cool as you attempt to project onto me, you would understand that cool never ever tries.  Cool just is.

Blessed

I write only because
There is a voice within me
That will not be still.
~ Sylvia Plath

One More Try

Every once in a while I find a place, or a man, that I cannot seem to walk away from.  Giving these places (and men) another try has been, in some cases beneficial.  In other cases it has simply left a bad taste in my mouth.

Careit in Crestwood is one of those places.  I want to fall in love with Careit.  I love their story, their philosophy, and their menu.  I really really want to love this place.  I have visited Careit several times and I have to be honest when I say that while I do not want to walk away from it, Careit is only getting one more try.

Careit, we need to talk about seasoning and customer service.  Both are really hit and miss at your place and it is unfortunate that you have such great ingredients at your disposal but do not respect them or your customers enough to turn out the high quality food you have the potential to deliver.  The lack of consistency makes me skeptical.  So does the inability to get about 30% of your advertised menu items, regardless of what time of day I have been there.  At this point, all that is keeping me in the game is a great price point, a clean shop, and a few items from the menu I have not yet tried.

Be warned, Careit.  We may just have to break up, even if you have the world's best carrot cookies.  And we do not want that, do we?

Ratings:
Appearance: Clean but poorly lit.
Service: Hit and miss.  Some staff cannot help you enough, some cannot be bothered to acknowledge your presence.
Food: Home cooked and health conscious but just OK, 5.5/10
Overall rating: Will be back but only because there are other items on the menu I want to try

Chicken Pot Pie:
(A little note... again, I used my ghetto phone camera so be warned!)

The portion size on this pie is perfect for lunch.  The puff pastry topping wasn't all that flaky and to be honest, I suspect it may have been frozen; the taste and texture were a bit off.  I do love me some chicken pot pie but this one was a bit train wrecky.  The potatoes were undercooked, the chicken was scarce, and it was desperately underseasoned to the point where it screamed for sage and I will not even tell you how much salt and pepper I had to add.  Overall, 4/10.

Crab and Roasted Pepper Quiche:

Again, the portion size is great for lunch.  While the quiche was dense, it still had a light sensibility to it.  The amount of crab and pepper was perfect for the size of the quiche.  The pastry was perfect but the quiche itself could have used a bit of salt and pepper at the very least.  Overall, 7/10.

While I will give Careit one more try, I will not be having the chicken pot pie.  I may go back to the mac and cheese as it was pretty good the last time I had it.  If you do chose to go, go early as the fresh items go fast and you will be left with really old rusting salads and beet hummus as your lunch options.  Bring a knife too because every time I have been to Careit, knives have not been available for take out food.

Happy Maple Leafs And Haw Dawgs

Let Go, Let Be

Because you refuse to answer when called on, because I know you lurk here…

I wanted to be kind and gracious.  I wanted to show that, in every way, I was taking the high road.  And while all of this remains true, I cannot deny that most of me now abhors you and not addressing it feels like part of me is polluted.

There have been a lot of disappointments over the last seven and half years.  I did all I could to stand by you, even when no one else in the world would.

This time, this latest disappointment, was the last one.  This time, you went too far.  The secrets and lies, the abandonment, are more than I can bear.  The emotional, physical, and financial cost was intolerable.  After so long, and so many sacrifices, I have accepted that you never intended to keep the promises you made.  I never thought you would choose to become a coward and a liar.  And after so many years, I can no longer make excuses for you.  The line has been crossed and I am finished wasting the prime of my life on empty promises and broken dreams.

You should know there is someone new in my life.  To be honest, he has been a part of my life for a while.  As soon as I let go of you, there was space for him.  I wish I had let go sooner than I did.  We take it day by day and I no longer feel the pressure to please someone who will never ever be satisfied.  He does not do things that make me weak and insecure.  He does not build me up so he can tear me down.  With him, I am assured, secure, and happy.  Most importantly, he has made it clear to me that I am safe, my happiness matters to him, and that we do not have to rush into making big decisions about our future.

That has been liberating.

Wordless Wednesday

Blessed

Thank you, Mr. I.T., for the laptop.  It is perfect and you exceeded all expectations.  You are awesome sauce and I am blessed to have you in my world.

And yes, Photoshop made that!

Wordless Wednesday

Blessed Farewell

I'd heard The Bruce Springsteen Band was nearby at a club called The Student Prince. A rainy, windy night it was, and when I opened the door the whole thing flew off its hinges and blew away down the street. The band were on stage, but staring at me framed in the doorway. And maybe that did make Bruce a little nervous because I just said, "I want to play with your band," and he said, "Sure, you do anything you want." ~ Clarence Clemons on how he met Bruce Springsteen and began playing with the E Street Band 

Blessed

Wordless Wednesday

I Should Have Packed A Lunch

The Lunchbox Diner.

(picture totally ripped off from Google Maps, street view)

I really really really wanted to love this place.  It is within walking distance to The Office (14413 115 Avenue) and I imagined myself power walking down there, grabbing my order to go and power walking back to the office.  I am pretty sure this is not ever going to happen.

Outside, this place has all the appeal a quirky diner should have.  Inside, it has all the disappointment a foodie's heart can hold.  Seriously, this place could use a Gordon Ramsey Kitchen Nightmare makeover... so much potential being wasted.

This diner is in a very unique spot (there is zero competition for blocks and blocks and blocks), but is wasting that potential by being caught in a time warp.  Or maybe time just stood still there.  Its hard to take a place seriously when the booths are in an eggplant vinyl.

Now, before you think I have thrown this place under the #121 bus that goes by it, relax.  I can say that the place is clean and the service is fast.  This, however, may be due to the fact that there were only four other people in the place and they had already been served.

Ratings:
Appearance: Clean but timeworn.
Service: Fast and friendly.
Food: Dated. Disappointed, 4/10
Overall rating: Will not be back.

Daily Special: Chicken fingers with fries and salad (9.50 + tax):
To be honest, the chicken fingers were the same chicken fingers that you get in every restaurant, even the specialty Mexican restaurants that get pissed off that you will not eat a taco but still want your business so they have them on the menu.  I have seen them served at Thai places too.  For really.  And to me, that is ten degrees of wrong but we can talk about that another time.  You cannot polish a turd and you cannot do anything sexy with chicken fingers.  That is legal.  Or morally acceptable.

The surprising highlight were the fries that had been seasoned perfectly with Lawry's seasoning salt, which I like but my partner in crime that day behaved as though someone had shit on her plate.

The most disappointing thing of all was the salad.  I opened the container up and was uber excited because, at first glance, it looked all fresh and full of yummy goodness.  Sadly, it was dying.  The meal was a take away and the cook had drowned the salad in dressing and only the parts that weren't drenched in ranch dressing survived.  Also, when one makes and/or serves a salad, the pieces should be bite sized, not a third of the romaine leaf.  Home Economics, eighth grade, just sayin'.

To be honest, it was a whole lot of meh and that makes me sad because this place has the potential to have lineups out the door and down the parking lot.  Which, perhaps, in its day, it did.

Ironically, a co-worker commented, "The Lunchbox?  Oh I haven't been there in fifteen years."  Do not worry your heart out.  Not a thing about the place has changed.

Random Sauce, Part Ten

I would die for you, but I won't die without you.
~~~~~
No loitering, only dancing.
~~~~~
I am dying to know how your mouth tastes.
~~~~~
You want to save me?  Who said I needed to be rescued?
~~~~~
Is it too late to ask Santa for a pet unicorn?
~~~~~

The Lady Is A Scamp

It has been a while, I know.  Sometimes life kicks you in the ass and you need to go away and recharge.

On Friday I was at the local Asian market and saw these really great tiger shrimp.  The kind of shrimp that make your head spin with ideas.  I bought a pound without even thinking about the fact that, while they were headless, they were still in their shell and had to be peeled and deveined.  I thought I would be able to talk Mr. I.T. into doing this for me because he's all manly and good with his hands, but even on the phone I heard him squirm.

Peeling and deveining shrimp is not as nasty as it sounds but a few tips:

-rinse the shrimp thoroughly in cold water first

-be sure to pull the legs off and work at opening the shell from the underside of the shrimp

-if you do not want to serve the shrimp with the tail on, remove it by pinching just above the tail where the meat starts and gently pull away from the body of the shrimp

VEGETABLE AND SHRIMP SCAMPI

Makes about 4 lunch sized portions.

Ingredients:

1 pound tiger shrimp, peeled and deveined

2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil

1 small red pepper, diced

1 small yellow pepper, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

2 green onions, diced

2 c. fresh mushrooms, sliced thinly

1/2 c. dry white wine (can be substituted with chicken stock)

1 1/2 tsp. prepared mustard

1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce

2 tbsp. margarine

1/2 tsp. salt

freshly squeezed  juice from one lemon

1 lb. angel hair pasta, cooked

1/2 c. Parmesan cheese, grated (optional)

Method:

-in a pan with high sides, heat oil on medium heat

-add shrimp to the pan and cook, stirring constantly until the shrimp is translucent and pink but not fully cooked

-remove the shrimp from the pan and set aside

-immediately return the pan to the stove and add peppers, garlic, onions, and mushrooms

-saute vegetables until they are sweating (Note: Add a couple dashes of salt to vegetables when you are sauteing them. This will draw out the water from the vegetables and helps to prevent them from scorching)

-add olive oil if necessary

-stir in the wine, mustard, and Worcestershire sauce, cooking over medium high heat for 3 to 4 minutes

-return the shrimp to the pan

-stir in the margarine, salt, and lemon juice and cook for another 1 to 2 minutes, combining all ingredients thoroughly

-if you find the sauce reducing, add a few tablespoons of wine and a dash of Worcestershire sauce

-serve immediately on angel hair pasta

-top with grated Parmesan, if desired

This recipe is best served with fresh garden salad and crusty bread.