The Other Royal Wedding

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Harris...

Oh ya, that's right.  Totally hijacked it!

The co-mutual adpotion has been a blessing.  May the rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock always be with you.  My soft kitty is your soft kitty.

Now pass the gravy and hug me!

I Blame Cath And Amy

Am back.  On Facebook.  Ugh.  I feel like I just handed over every shred of decency I have to Mark Zuckerberg and he is doing unspeakable things to it.  This better work better than it did last time girls!

Yes, I remember what I said about Facebook and all its co-conspirators last year.  I still stand by that.  I have even more arguments against it (planking, homicide due to wall posts and Farmville) now and, quite frankly speaking, cannot wait until the next thing comes along.  Oh sit down Justin "I just bought MySpace" Timberlake.  Best you will do is piss YouTube off.  This business of you trying to be an actor and trying to relive your Social Network days makes you look silly, cheesy, and deficient.  I digress...

Are we fighting yet, Amy?

As a precaution, I have created an account that is part my name, part not.  So if you want to add me as a friend, and if I think you will not stalk my life and irritate the fuck out of me with your narcissistic wannabe bullshit are worthy, I will add you.  You can email me privately for further information.

If I do not respond to your email or add request, I want you to give some really deep thought as to why I have not before you blast me about it and start calling me all the bitches under the sun in your news feed, status box, etc.  I mean really really deep thought.  And then choose my answer(s) from the following list that best apply to you (and they do):
a] I am not interested in your drama.
b] I am not interested in you stalking my life.
c] I really just tolerate you because I find myself in socialized situations where I am required to or I may loose my job.
d] You are a friendwhore, we are not now nor will we ever be friends, and I would not be caught dead on your friends list.
e] Your "join this club" invitations and all the other spam you posted on my wall last time I was on Facebook created so much spam I had to abandon a much loved email address.  Fuck off with the invites, I can join myself.
f] We may be related but that does not mean I like you or would consider you a "friend".
g] You bore me with your feeble and pathetic attempts to look cool.  If you really were as cool as you want me to think you are, if your life was as cool as you attempt to project onto me, you would understand that cool never ever tries.  Cool just is.

Blessed

I write only because
There is a voice within me
That will not be still.
~ Sylvia Plath

One More Try

Every once in a while I find a place, or a man, that I cannot seem to walk away from.  Giving these places (and men) another try has been, in some cases beneficial.  In other cases it has simply left a bad taste in my mouth.

Careit in Crestwood is one of those places.  I want to fall in love with Careit.  I love their story, their philosophy, and their menu.  I really really want to love this place.  I have visited Careit several times and I have to be honest when I say that while I do not want to walk away from it, Careit is only getting one more try.

Careit, we need to talk about seasoning and customer service.  Both are really hit and miss at your place and it is unfortunate that you have such great ingredients at your disposal but do not respect them or your customers enough to turn out the high quality food you have the potential to deliver.  The lack of consistency makes me skeptical.  So does the inability to get about 30% of your advertised menu items, regardless of what time of day I have been there.  At this point, all that is keeping me in the game is a great price point, a clean shop, and a few items from the menu I have not yet tried.

Be warned, Careit.  We may just have to break up, even if you have the world's best carrot cookies.  And we do not want that, do we?

Ratings:
Appearance: Clean but poorly lit.
Service: Hit and miss.  Some staff cannot help you enough, some cannot be bothered to acknowledge your presence.
Food: Home cooked and health conscious but just OK, 5.5/10
Overall rating: Will be back but only because there are other items on the menu I want to try

Chicken Pot Pie:
(A little note... again, I used my ghetto phone camera so be warned!)

The portion size on this pie is perfect for lunch.  The puff pastry topping wasn't all that flaky and to be honest, I suspect it may have been frozen; the taste and texture were a bit off.  I do love me some chicken pot pie but this one was a bit train wrecky.  The potatoes were undercooked, the chicken was scarce, and it was desperately underseasoned to the point where it screamed for sage and I will not even tell you how much salt and pepper I had to add.  Overall, 4/10.

Crab and Roasted Pepper Quiche:

Again, the portion size is great for lunch.  While the quiche was dense, it still had a light sensibility to it.  The amount of crab and pepper was perfect for the size of the quiche.  The pastry was perfect but the quiche itself could have used a bit of salt and pepper at the very least.  Overall, 7/10.

While I will give Careit one more try, I will not be having the chicken pot pie.  I may go back to the mac and cheese as it was pretty good the last time I had it.  If you do chose to go, go early as the fresh items go fast and you will be left with really old rusting salads and beet hummus as your lunch options.  Bring a knife too because every time I have been to Careit, knives have not been available for take out food.

Happy Maple Leafs And Haw Dawgs

Let Go, Let Be

Because you refuse to answer when called on, because I know you lurk here…

I wanted to be kind and gracious.  I wanted to show that, in every way, I was taking the high road.  And while all of this remains true, I cannot deny that most of me now abhors you and not addressing it feels like part of me is polluted.

There have been a lot of disappointments over the last seven and half years.  I did all I could to stand by you, even when no one else in the world would.

This time, this latest disappointment, was the last one.  This time, you went too far.  The secrets and lies, the abandonment, are more than I can bear.  The emotional, physical, and financial cost was intolerable.  After so long, and so many sacrifices, I have accepted that you never intended to keep the promises you made.  I never thought you would choose to become a coward and a liar.  And after so many years, I can no longer make excuses for you.  The line has been crossed and I am finished wasting the prime of my life on empty promises and broken dreams.

You should know there is someone new in my life.  To be honest, he has been a part of my life for a while.  As soon as I let go of you, there was space for him.  I wish I had let go sooner than I did.  We take it day by day and I no longer feel the pressure to please someone who will never ever be satisfied.  He does not do things that make me weak and insecure.  He does not build me up so he can tear me down.  With him, I am assured, secure, and happy.  Most importantly, he has made it clear to me that I am safe, my happiness matters to him, and that we do not have to rush into making big decisions about our future.

That has been liberating.

Wordless Wednesday

Blessed

Thank you, Mr. I.T., for the laptop.  It is perfect and you exceeded all expectations.  You are awesome sauce and I am blessed to have you in my world.

And yes, Photoshop made that!

Wordless Wednesday

Blessed Farewell

I'd heard The Bruce Springsteen Band was nearby at a club called The Student Prince. A rainy, windy night it was, and when I opened the door the whole thing flew off its hinges and blew away down the street. The band were on stage, but staring at me framed in the doorway. And maybe that did make Bruce a little nervous because I just said, "I want to play with your band," and he said, "Sure, you do anything you want." ~ Clarence Clemons on how he met Bruce Springsteen and began playing with the E Street Band 

Blessed

Wordless Wednesday

I Should Have Packed A Lunch

The Lunchbox Diner.

(picture totally ripped off from Google Maps, street view)

I really really really wanted to love this place.  It is within walking distance to The Office (14413 115 Avenue) and I imagined myself power walking down there, grabbing my order to go and power walking back to the office.  I am pretty sure this is not ever going to happen.

Outside, this place has all the appeal a quirky diner should have.  Inside, it has all the disappointment a foodie's heart can hold.  Seriously, this place could use a Gordon Ramsey Kitchen Nightmare makeover... so much potential being wasted.

This diner is in a very unique spot (there is zero competition for blocks and blocks and blocks), but is wasting that potential by being caught in a time warp.  Or maybe time just stood still there.  Its hard to take a place seriously when the booths are in an eggplant vinyl.

Now, before you think I have thrown this place under the #121 bus that goes by it, relax.  I can say that the place is clean and the service is fast.  This, however, may be due to the fact that there were only four other people in the place and they had already been served.

Ratings:
Appearance: Clean but timeworn.
Service: Fast and friendly.
Food: Dated. Disappointed, 4/10
Overall rating: Will not be back.

Daily Special: Chicken fingers with fries and salad (9.50 + tax):
To be honest, the chicken fingers were the same chicken fingers that you get in every restaurant, even the specialty Mexican restaurants that get pissed off that you will not eat a taco but still want your business so they have them on the menu.  I have seen them served at Thai places too.  For really.  And to me, that is ten degrees of wrong but we can talk about that another time.  You cannot polish a turd and you cannot do anything sexy with chicken fingers.  That is legal.  Or morally acceptable.

The surprising highlight were the fries that had been seasoned perfectly with Lawry's seasoning salt, which I like but my partner in crime that day behaved as though someone had shit on her plate.

The most disappointing thing of all was the salad.  I opened the container up and was uber excited because, at first glance, it looked all fresh and full of yummy goodness.  Sadly, it was dying.  The meal was a take away and the cook had drowned the salad in dressing and only the parts that weren't drenched in ranch dressing survived.  Also, when one makes and/or serves a salad, the pieces should be bite sized, not a third of the romaine leaf.  Home Economics, eighth grade, just sayin'.

To be honest, it was a whole lot of meh and that makes me sad because this place has the potential to have lineups out the door and down the parking lot.  Which, perhaps, in its day, it did.

Ironically, a co-worker commented, "The Lunchbox?  Oh I haven't been there in fifteen years."  Do not worry your heart out.  Not a thing about the place has changed.

Random Sauce, Part Ten

I would die for you, but I won't die without you.
~~~~~
No loitering, only dancing.
~~~~~
I am dying to know how your mouth tastes.
~~~~~
You want to save me?  Who said I needed to be rescued?
~~~~~
Is it too late to ask Santa for a pet unicorn?
~~~~~

The Lady Is A Scamp

It has been a while, I know.  Sometimes life kicks you in the ass and you need to go away and recharge.

On Friday I was at the local Asian market and saw these really great tiger shrimp.  The kind of shrimp that make your head spin with ideas.  I bought a pound without even thinking about the fact that, while they were headless, they were still in their shell and had to be peeled and deveined.  I thought I would be able to talk Mr. I.T. into doing this for me because he's all manly and good with his hands, but even on the phone I heard him squirm.

Peeling and deveining shrimp is not as nasty as it sounds but a few tips:

-rinse the shrimp thoroughly in cold water first

-be sure to pull the legs off and work at opening the shell from the underside of the shrimp

-if you do not want to serve the shrimp with the tail on, remove it by pinching just above the tail where the meat starts and gently pull away from the body of the shrimp

VEGETABLE AND SHRIMP SCAMPI

Makes about 4 lunch sized portions.

Ingredients:

1 pound tiger shrimp, peeled and deveined

2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil

1 small red pepper, diced

1 small yellow pepper, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

2 green onions, diced

2 c. fresh mushrooms, sliced thinly

1/2 c. dry white wine (can be substituted with chicken stock)

1 1/2 tsp. prepared mustard

1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce

2 tbsp. margarine

1/2 tsp. salt

freshly squeezed  juice from one lemon

1 lb. angel hair pasta, cooked

1/2 c. Parmesan cheese, grated (optional)

Method:

-in a pan with high sides, heat oil on medium heat

-add shrimp to the pan and cook, stirring constantly until the shrimp is translucent and pink but not fully cooked

-remove the shrimp from the pan and set aside

-immediately return the pan to the stove and add peppers, garlic, onions, and mushrooms

-saute vegetables until they are sweating (Note: Add a couple dashes of salt to vegetables when you are sauteing them. This will draw out the water from the vegetables and helps to prevent them from scorching)

-add olive oil if necessary

-stir in the wine, mustard, and Worcestershire sauce, cooking over medium high heat for 3 to 4 minutes

-return the shrimp to the pan

-stir in the margarine, salt, and lemon juice and cook for another 1 to 2 minutes, combining all ingredients thoroughly

-if you find the sauce reducing, add a few tablespoons of wine and a dash of Worcestershire sauce

-serve immediately on angel hair pasta

-top with grated Parmesan, if desired

This recipe is best served with fresh garden salad and crusty bread.

Happy Belated Birthday Kayleigh

May the rock, paper, scissors, lizard, and Spock be with you!  And your gravy too!

Put A Bag On This

Censorship sucks.  So do you, Barnes and Noble.

Not everyone "gets" art.  Not everyone "gets" Radiohead either but you are still a friend of mine.

Barnes and Noble, you are not my friends any more.  Oh, you will sell Maxim, Men's Fitness, and Muscles and Fitness, all showing covers full of boobies and nipples, but you want to treat this magazine cover like its porn and put a paper bag over it:

Alright.  So an "androgynous" man appears on Dossier's cover, made to look like a woman.  Am I the only person who saw the Adam's apple?  Am I the only one who saw that this is actually a man?

Barnes and Noble have had a Republican sized shit fit because this is a man with his boobies out and that man not only looks like a woman but kinda lives like one too.  Must.  Be.  Covered.  Up.

Ohhhhh, how provocative.

We have never seen this before.

No.  The world never had a Boy George or a Pete Burns, right?  Middle America better crawl back up its own ass to save itself.  It does not want to get any of this androgyny stuff all over it.  Because that would suck. And it would also mean we are no longer living in the 1950's.

Skye Parrott, Dossier's co-founder and creative director spoke to Jezebel.com, stating:

               "We knew that this cover presented a very strong,

                androgynous image, and that could make some

                some people uncomfortable.  That's partly why

                we chose it.  I guess it made some people pretty

                uncomfortable."

                                

You know what made me pretty uncomfortable?  Mariah with her tits out on Ok! Magazine.  The very same Ok! Magazine Barnes and Noble stocks.  It made me want to projectile vomit.  Now, her husband type's hands are covering the nipply parts, but what say you, Barnes and Noble, to all the man cleavage and nips on the cover of Muscle and Fitness?  Androgyny, bad.  Steroids, good?  Mariah, still relevant?

Pull your head out, Barnes and Noble.  You are suffocating yourself.

If you, as an adult, don't know the difference between art, porn, and trash, then I cannot help you.  If you refuse to teach the children in your life the difference and instead prefer censorship to education, I cannot help you.

More Andrej Pejic for your viewing pleasure...

Happy Vesak

Blessed

Coolest Bachelor Pad Ever

When I was a kid, my gran used to threaten to make me sleep in the bathtub if I was bad.  Which was often.  Imagine telling your guests that their bed is the tub.