I opened a can of worms with my list of rules.
Thanks for the calls and private email flood. I get that you think I am too rigid and that I inspire fear.
I call the shots in my life, not a six year old girl. She is the child, I am the adult. That's how I roll, yo.
Some thoughts... in random, chaotic order because my brain is still leaking.
Do I have too many rules? Maybe. But I believe kids need rules or they become directionless, bored mall rats who crave attention and cause a lot of trouble. That will not be happening on my watch. I also believe kids want rules.
Children want and need our guidance and if you think otherwise, you need to pull your head out of your ass because you are suffocating yourself.
Children want us to show them how to make it into and through this world in one piece. I believe if there are children in your life, you have a responsibility to them, a duty and an obligation to keep them on the right path, so to speak.
Rules are part of that.
I know it takes more to raise a child than rules, but rules help to teach a child about things like responsibility, manners, the value of hard work, and accountability. I honestly believe these things got cast aside with the "time out" generations; the lunatics were running the asylum and somewhere along the way we let the children in our lives down and taught them how to be lazy, egocentric, lacking in social graces, and ambitionless because they didn't have to work for what they wanted. If they didn't get what they wanted, the tantrums came and we told them to go sit somewhere until we eventually caved in.
And we caved in in some way, shape, or form.
We taught them that, without any hard work or ambition, they were entitled to start working at a management level, even though they lacked the qualifications and experience needed. We did things like said it was okay to get rid of grades in schools because a failing grade may embarrass them. We said it was okay to institute "no fail" policies in schools because it would hurt their self esteem not to carry forward with their peer group. You know what that did? Created a situation where illiterate kids were entering high schools. And those kids are mocked without mercy. Is that embarrassing? Does this hurt their self esteem? Ride a public bus for ten stops after school lets out and observe the cruelty.
Shame on us for allowing this to continue. Shame on us for not getting in their business and being an active part of their lives. Shame on us for parking them in front of the television or computer because we couldn't be arsed to extend ourselves and take the time to lead them, coach them, and guide them. We have set a bad example and should not be surprised some kids are in the shit pit they are in.
I know what I have said is polarizing. So be it. My nieces have rules to follow when they are in my care and I do not care what you think about it. I have to do what I have to do to get them back to their parents and I have to do it in a way that makes them not dead or bleeding or being stalked by some pervert on Facebook. If you want to send me a sanctimonious email that tells me what kind of asshole I am, or that I do not know what it is like to have children, do not waste the energy or bandwidth. My nieces are a very important part of my life and I love them like they are my own. If I have to tell them not to dress like a slut because it attracts the wrong kind of attention any day and the worst kind of attention when she is only twelve, you will not stop me. If I have to tell them homework before video games, I so will and you can suck it if you do not agree.
I am determined to contribute to their success, not set them up for failure.
My set of rules are part of that. Especially at the mall.
