You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better. ~ Anne Lamott

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Use What You Have Quesadillas

On Sunday's, I cook.  I quite literally open the fridge, plan out my lunch for the week and then create some chaos with what is left over.

For lunch, I was craving quesadillas.  Of course, I was out of sour cream and guacamole.  And, in typical me fashion, I bought the world's smallest tortillas.  Was I going to let that stop me?  Uh, never.  I also had another hungry mouth to feed, so no pressure.


Today's ingredients (makes 4 quesadillas):
3 oz. turkey, cooked, sliced, and diced
cheese, shredded
1/2 yellow pepper
1/2 red onion
3 crimini mushrooms
1 small tomato
1 tbsp. olive oil
salsa


In a pan with high sides, heat the olive oil.  When the oil is hot, add the vegetables and cook long enough to soften them.  About two minutes before you take the mixture out of the pan, add the turkey.



Remove from heat, spoon mixture into a bowl, and set aside. Carefully wipe out the pan with paper towel and return to the stove.

Allow the pan to heat up again and spray with cooking spray.  Add a tortilla.


Top the tortilla with your vegetable and turkey mixture.


Then add some cheese.


When the underside of the tortilla is golden, top with another tortilla, and cover with a plate.  This helps keep the heat in and melt the cheese.


Flip the quesadilla and cook until the second underside is golden brown.


Now slide that lovely piece of heaven onto a cutting board and allow it to cool for about one minute.  This lets the cheese set all over the vegetables and keep things in place.  Cut in four and plate.


Serve with sour cream and guacamole, if you have them.  Enjoy!

Friday, January 24, 2014

A Brush With Fame or How I Learned to Relax Like a Queen

I first met Queen Amy when I was going to college.  There was a basement food court in an office tower where my friends and I could go and get a cup of coffee, talk, and study without the usual interruptions at school.  We could also get a cheap meal at a couple of the kiosks and Chicken for Lunch was one of those places.  The food was amazing and cheap but it was also like ordering from the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld.  Amy Quon has a rather dynamic personality, to say the least.

A couple of years ago, the Quons, who also own a rather popular Chinese food restaurant, had a reality TV show The Quon Dynasty which, should you get the chance, you should watch.  It is hilarious.

Yesterday I went to get my toenails cut because I always give myself ingrown toenails a pedicure and have my brows ripped off my head when who should I see but the Queen herself.  Of course, she was meditating while she enjoyed some pampering.


I would have done the same but my feet are ticklish and its important to not kick the nail tech in the head when she is using a straight blade to remove calluses.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

#TBT

Star date June 14, 2012.  Henry Rollins' Bon Jovi mobile in front of SUB at the University of Alberta.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

I Don't Believe In Your God And That Makes Me A Liar?

My atheism is not predicated on hate, anger, or a disagreement with the Judeo-Christian version of God.  He and I are not at odds.  To me, he is a myth which I am not at war with.  And before you suggest I am on the "dark side", please know I do not spend my free time sitting in a pentagram, channelling evil.

I searched for years and could not find any real tangible evidence for "his" existence that did not require me to suspend beliefs that I knew to be right and true in order to embrace those myths championed in the bible that extol his virtues and existence.  Yes, myth.  Read about Horus and Mithra, for a start, and you if you are honest with yourself, you will begin to see parallels that make that whole bible thing look like history's best work of plagiarism.

Now, if you have real, tangible proof that can be evidenced in reality and tested by empirical science, show me and I may actually change my mind.  Do not point to me and say god made me.  My parents having sex without using birth control made me.

Until that time, if that time ever occurs, please do not act like you are a better person than I am or that you have keys to some magical kingdom that makes you more entitled than the rest of us.  I do not need a book full of what I consider to be fairy tales to be a good person.  You consistently break vows and promises you make to "him".  You sin.  Just like the rest of us.

Whenever you elevate yourself upon your self-made pedestal remember this, you look like a fool and we all know that you have shaped your beliefs to be entirely altogether too congenial and convenient in order to absolve yourself of any real responsibility for your actions or accountability for the harm you cause.

Exactly who is the liar?


Saturday, January 18, 2014

The Weekly Whaaaaa

Dammit I'm mad is dammit I'm mad.

Give it up for palindromes. 

Thursday, January 16, 2014

#TBT

Sorry ladies, shiny leggings and knee high boots have already been done. 


#1988 #pushitrealgood #whatyoudoaintnew

Sunday, January 12, 2014

The Rain

Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain. ~ Vivian Greene


Go here for the soundtrack.


Thursday, January 9, 2014

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Best Fucking Email Of The Day

Every once in a while, I receive an email at The Office that makes me laugh so hard, I start making sounds only animals can hear and pee I in my pants a little bit too.

I was having one of those days where you swear its a Monday after a long weekend but it is really a Tuesday and you feel like you should be awarded a medal if everyone leaves at 5, alive and head still attached to their body. To go along with that mania, the office crazy pants was on her millionth day in a row where she talks like a four year old girl, turns every conversation into a conversation about her mess of a life, and made the grandiose statement at the weekly department meeting, "I can shower in 14 days."  Yes, that happened.  My eye roll was equally grandiose and I thought my baby blues were going to roll into my head, carve out a space in my lower brain, and hibernate there for the rest of the winter.

So as I sat on the cube farm, driving my desk, listening to crazy pants cackle like a witch who lost her broom, this gem hit my inbox:


I have the best fucking friends.

Now, make me fucking care.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Fiscal Responsibility: How I Paid For Dental Work

Last year was a year like no other.  True love came back, true love failed me.  Diabetes, Hashimoto's, and cancer tried to kill me, I bounced back.  I met people who would change my world forever, I said goodbye to people who were too toxic for me to forgive.

There were a lot of changes and one of those things was a commitment to be even more fiscally responsible.  2012 was the year I stopped making "oh its only ten dollars" purchases.  2013 was the year of savings and paying myself an allowance.  Because someone has to pay for my dentist and his lovely wife to go to Africa.  I am convinced Dr. Frank and Anne plan their holidays around my visits.

There are two very easy savings plans trending on the Internet (read that as Pinterest) that I tried with much success.  I barely noticed I was saving money.  These plans are not about deprivation or cash starvation; they are about saving money daily and weekly.

First is the five dollar savings plan.  Whenever you receive a five dollar bill as change, when you return home, you take the five dollars out of your wallet, pocket, sock, shoe, bra, wherever you put your change and put it in a jar, envelope, box, etc.  Set a goal for yourself (for me it was a paying for a root canal because I have a ghetto fantastic medical plan that doesn't cover shit when it comes to your teeth) or a specific dollar amount, and at that time use your fives.  Had I not had to make a mortgage payment on my teeth, by the summer I would have had nearly $600.00 to throw in my savings account.  To be honest, I stopped saving after that point.  The guilt of spending five dollar bills still plagues me to the point where I have started saving five dollar bills again and I am committed to saving them all year long.  Unless Dr. Frank and Anne decide they need to go somewhere exotic, do their voodoo dental dance, and I land in Frank's chair with a tooth ready to fall out of my head.

The second savings plain is being called the 52 week money challenge.  This chart and others like it are making their way around the Internets:



The idea that drives this plain is pretty simple.  Each week you pay yourself an "allowance" and at the end of the year, you will have saved $1378.00.  Again, put the money in a jar, box, envelope, etc.  You can download this chart, or other charts like it, to track your progress throughout the year. If you find yourself a bit short on cash due to buying Christmas presents and spreading Christmas cheer, try starting the chart at the end.  This way, when December comes, paying out your allowance is manageable.  I used the money I saved using this plan to pay for the crown that had go on top of the previously mentioned root canal.  Frank is expensive company.

Be diligent and don't forget to feel the sun when it shines on your lovely face.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

A Feminist

"I call myself a feminist.  Isn't that what you call someone who fights for women's rights? We all come from the same mother.  That creates the basis for compassion." ~ His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama