Use What You Have Quesadillas

On Sunday's, I cook.  I quite literally open the fridge, plan out my lunch for the week and then create some chaos with what is left over.

For lunch, I was craving quesadillas.  Of course, I was out of sour cream and guacamole.  And, in typical me fashion, I bought the world's smallest tortillas.  Was I going to let that stop me?  Uh, never.  I also had another hungry mouth to feed, so no pressure.

Today's ingredients (makes 4 quesadillas):
3 oz. turkey, cooked, sliced, and diced
cheese, shredded
1/2 yellow pepper
1/2 red onion
3 crimini mushrooms
1 small tomato
1 tbsp. olive oil
salsa

In a pan with high sides, heat the olive oil.  When the oil is hot, add the vegetables and cook long enough to soften them.  About two minutes before you take the mixture out of the pan, add the turkey.

Remove from heat, spoon mixture into a bowl, and set aside. Carefully wipe out the pan with paper towel and return to the stove.

Allow the pan to heat up again and spray with cooking spray.  Add a tortilla.

Top the tortilla with your vegetable and turkey mixture.

Then add some cheese.

When the underside of the tortilla is golden, top with another tortilla, and cover with a plate.  This helps keep the heat in and melt the cheese.

Flip the quesadilla and cook until the second underside is golden brown.

Now slide that lovely piece of heaven onto a cutting board and allow it to cool for about one minute.  This lets the cheese set all over the vegetables and keep things in place.  Cut in four and plate.

Serve with sour cream and guacamole, if you have them.  Enjoy!

Feta Rolls

For this recipe, I use pizza dough and pre-crumbled cheese.  I know I just broke every food blog rule about cooking from scratch but a girl does not always have the time or the inclination to be La Goddesse De Martha Stewart.  When you have a group of people arriving without much notice, this simple, fairly inexpensive, and highly adaptable recipe is ideal.  The dough rises just the right amount while retaining the density I like these rolls to have and the cheese has just a hint of seasoning so as to not over power anything you serve these rolls with.  When I use this recipe as an appetizer, I roll the dough in single strips, not doubled.

Ingredients:
1 tin Pillsbury pizza dough
1 - 2 c. Kraft Feta Cheese Crumbles
parchment paper

Method:
-on the parchment paper, roll out pizza dough; spread and flatten to desired thickness
-sprinkle cheese on dough (you can use any shredded or crumbled cheese as well as add spices at this point)

-using a tall water glass turned on its side like a rolling pin, gently roll the cheese into the dough

-using a sharp knife, cut the dough into strips about one inch wide, cutting an even amount of strips

-fold every other strip in half

-place the strips folded in half on the lower part of the strips that have not been folded

-fold the long strip over the previously folded strip

-fold the dough toward you, forming a spiral and lay it on its side

-transfer the dough to a greased cookie sheet and cook for about 10 minutes

-check the roll for doneness and continue to cook until dough is browned

 

I like to serve these with salsa, guacamole, ranch dressing or marinara sauce.  Because this recipe is so versatile, any dipping sauce takes these rolls to another level.

My Brain Is Leaking

Today, I told Ali I was "just gonna hawt mess it through the day."

Not even sticky notes and pre-set alarms on my phone can save me.

Oh, you have no idea.

This past weekend officially turned my brain into leaking Swiss cheese.

Saturday consisted of six hours (I spelled it so there would be no confusion) at the mall with my nieces, getting their Christmas shopping done.  I love them.  I go to great lengths to be not only their aunt, but their mentor and confidante.  But after they caused a major health scare, and fiscally and emotionally bankrupted me realized it was dark out, it was time to go home.

Lessons learned?  The customer service clerks will place bets on how long before you return "The Green Monster" stroller...

(imagine it with not one, but two seats, being navigated through a boutique style store).  We lasted less than 15 minutes.  Food court water is four times as expensive as gas ($2.24 for 591 mL, gas is less than $1.00 a litre... you do the rest of the math).  The tooth fairy is now paying $5.00 a tooth.  $5.00  for a tooth that is currently working its way through my youngest niece's digestive tract because she swallowed it while eating chicken souvlaki.  Dinner at the food court should never involve the questions "Do I give her the Heimlich?" or "We have to make her puke."

It was only hour three when that went down.  Literally.

I had nothing left in the tank when we got home.  But I had wet sheets in the washer that I forgot to put in the dryer and actually dry so I could make my bed before we left for the Christmas Shopping Extravaganza.  When I realized I did not have any sheets to put on my bed, at least none that were dry, I seriously considered laying hand towels all over my bed so I could just lie down and die.

Yes, I was delirious.  No, I did not remember I have four sets of sheets stored in an vacuum packed bag under my bed.

I no longer had a brain to remember with.

Sunday was equally manic.

Four pails of fund raiser cookie dough.  I bought it thinking it would be a time saver and a great way for me and the girls to bond over baking for the holidays.  Okay, so the bonding part is shite.  The day before, I had surprised them with $120.00 each for their Christmas Shopping Extravaganza.  I had been saving some money every month for them.

But it was not free money.  Oh no it, came with emotional black mail and a shit load of rules because Auntie is not Mummy and trying to beat sense into little princesses while in public is currently socially unacceptable and really not an option Auntie cares to explore.

The Rules:
-no whining, crying, complaining, or pouting
-even though your mother thought it would be fun times for you to have bags of sugar coated candy before you came to be my responsibility for two days, there will be no yelling, screaming, or acting like you just sniffed coke and need to scale the palm trees by the fountain
-while you have it in your heads that you are the world's most precious princesses and believe all the contents of the mall should be going home with you, there will be no shopping for you... we are shopping for your family's Christmas gifts
-when you are paying for your gifts, say yes to a gift receipt, no to plastic bags, and thank the people who helped you
-if you cannot touch Auntie or the cart you are too far away
-if you need to pee, you have to say something before it is running down your leg because the magic of the universe places all public bathrooms on one side of the mall... and we will never be on that side when you have to go
-if you need to rest because your boots/shoes/sister/the general public/the shopping cart/the Christmas carols playing in the stores/the current tilt of the world on its axis is irritating you, please politely ask to have a break
-do not make Auntie want to smoke because it has cost her a crap load of money to quit
-should you find the urge to break the rules irresistible, please refer to Princess J's story of when she was four and Auntie made her drop everything and dragged her screaming ass out of the mall and back home because she was a bad princess who wanted everything... Auntie does not count to three and follows through on her threats
-please remember this list grows every year because of naughty behaviour and Auntie Claus can very easily take all the stuff back and get her money back

Oh, and by the way, tomorrow you will be baking cookies with Auntie and all preceding rules will still in effect.

I will not be in The Office tomorrow.  Why?  Because Auntie still has her own shopping to do.  Gifts and food.  Uh huh.  Dinner for about twenty and not a thing has been bought.  Including the bird.  Good news is, all the baking is done and I have my own Shopping Extravaganza down to two lists and four stores.

I am leaving at zero dark stupid.

Do not call.  Do not leave a message.

I am officially on auto pilot and I cannot remember how to retrieve my voice mail anymore.

PS:  I will be making these melted snowman cookies at some point.

Easiest Snack Ever

Aside from smashing the almonds, the most labour intensive part of this snack is eating it.

ALMOND RAISIN SNACK WRAP

Makes one snack wrap.

Ingredients:

1 - 6 inch tortilla

1 tsp. low fat cream cheese

1 tbsp. raisins

4 almonds, smashed

Method:

-spread cream cheese to about half a centimetre away from the edge of the tortilla

-on a cutting board, smash almonds; using the heel of your hand, apply pressure to the blade of a knife that has been laid sideways over an almond

-apply pressure until you feel the almond being crushed or alternatively, give it some muscle like you would if you were crushing garlic; you could use sliced almonds here but this is good for getting the stress out

-mix raisins with almonds and sprinkle in the middle of the tortilla, leaving about a centimetre of space from the sides
-carefully fold the bottom of the tortilla towards the centre of the almond raisin mixture

-fold the left side of the tortilla towards the middle

-fold the right towards the middle

-roll from the bottom to the top

Nutritional information (click to view full size):

Armageddon Is On The Way And She's Wearing A Pencil Skirt

(Originally posted on my old blog "The Domestication of a Punk Rock Foodie" on June 06, 2010.  Reposting this particular blog was inspired by the lovely Brittany and her amazing and honest sense of self.  Good or bad.  And that's where I'm at too.  I struggle daily but this is who I am and if you can't accept that, go hang with that bitch Maura.)


Clearly, I have lost my mind.


I'm not a tomboy but I'm not particularly girly either and I have lived in a skirt free world for 99% of my life.

The last time I wore a skirt was in high school, circa 1985, complete with black leggings. A friend gave the skirt to me but another girl accused me of stealing it from her and the drama that lasted for about three months scarred me for life. Or most of it.  Prior to that, the last time may have been elementary school graduation.

Skirts are not my friend. They are not cankle friendly and when you have legs on you like tree trunks that are being shaped into legs for a piano, skirts are the enemy.  Especially mini skirts, which have ruled the world for most of my life. Couple that with my fear of falling flat on my arse, legs up in the air, and skirt around my hips and you have my skirt free world.  I’m a total klutz and shit happens all the time, including this weekend when I stubbed/broke my baby toe on my right foot, bending over to pick up a water bottle. Ya, it's like that.

Dresses have done better in my adult world… last year’s corporate Christmas party, weddings, and my college graduation. Prior to that, the last time I had worn a dress when I was seven.

To receive first communion.

Oh ya kids, I used to be Catholic. I know.

I had a wedding to go to in May. A skirt whispered to me in the store when I was shopping for something to wear to the wedding. I took it home with me.

Yes, I paid for it first.

I went shopping the next day at lunch. Three skirts whispered at me but only one was lucky enough to come home with me.

I went shopping last week with Sue... again a skirt was in the mix.

I've been wearing them too. In public. Bare legs, cankles, and all. I know!  I figure, to hell with it. This is the body I live in, these are my legs and ankles and if you don't like it, well quite frankly I don't care. No really, I do not care. I'm entirely altogether over what the world thinks of my less than perfect body. Look, don't look, mock, don't mock.  Whatev's.

This is me, this is who I am, this is me in a skirt.

Ya, I’m pretty sure that the world is going to cave in on itself.


MENU
Cheese On The Outside Calzone
Broccoli Raisin Salad
Fruit Parfait Two Ways


CHEESE ON THE OUTSIDE CALZONE

Serves four.


(I use a pre-made pizza crust for this recipe to reduce the prep time.)


Ingredients:
1 – Pillsbury pizza crust
¼ c. pizza sauce
4 oz. chicken breast, cooked and diced
¼ c. green pepper, diced
¼ c. onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
12 kalamata olives, pitted and sliced
½ c. fresh mushrooms, stems removed, sliced
1/8 tsp each dried oregano, basil, and thyme
1 c. shredded cheese of your choice (try Kraft’s Four Cheese Italiano Shredded Cheese or Kraft’s Tex Mex blend… or ½ cup of each combined)
1 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil


Method:
-cook chicken breast and set aside
-when chicken is cool to the touch, dice into cubes
-preheat oven to 400
-on a greased cookie sheet (I use Pam’s olive oil spray), roll out pizza crust
-spread pizza sauce over crust leaving about 2 inches around the edges bare
-in a bowl, combine chicken breast, peppers, onion, garlic, olives, mushrooms and spices
-spread mixture onto the middle of the pizza crust like a log, leaving 2 inches between the log and the end of the crust (see the pic below that I totally ripped off the Internet, showing you the basic idea... I was too rushy rush rush to take a pic while I was in the middle of cooking)

-if you prefer the cheese inside the calzone, sprinkle it on top of the mixture now

-flip bottom part of crust over the filling until the bottom edge is even with the top edge of the crust

-pinch edges forming a half moon shape (again, another pic that I stole from the net to show you what I'm blathering away about)

-using a knife cut four small slits in the top of the calzone

-brush with olive oil

-put in the oven for 15minutes

-remove from oven and sprinkle with cheese if you have not already

-return to oven until cheese is browned and bubbling

-remove from oven and slice into four sections; serve while hot

Click here for printable recipe.

BROCCOLI RAISIN SALAD

Serves four as a side dish.

Salad Ingredients:

1 ½ c. broccoli florets

¾ c. sunflower seeds, shelled

1 c. golden raisins

½ medium red onion, diced

1 c. shredded marbled cheese

Dressing Ingredients:

1 c. Kraft Fat Free Miracle Whip

3 tbsp. apple cider vinegar

¼ c. sugar

Method:

-mix together broccoli, sunflower seeds, raisins, and red onion and set aside

-prepare dressing and pour on salad to coat as desired

-sprinkle with shredded cheese and serve

Click here for printable recipe.

FRUIT PARFAIT TWO WAYS

Banana Cream Parfait (Serves Two):

Ingredients:

1 package Jello Cook and Serve banana cream pudding mix

3 c. milk

1 c. strawberries, sliced

1 c.blackberries

Method:

-prepare pudding as per manufacturer’s directions

-set aside in fridge for one hour to cool

-when pudding is cooled, put in a parfait glass layering strawberries then pudding and then blackberries

-alternate until glass is almost full and top with fresh fruit

Pistachio Parfait (Serves Two):

Ingredients:

1 package Jello pistachio instant pudding mix

2 c. milk

1 c. strawberries, sliced

1 c. blackberries

Method:

-prepare pudding as per manufacturer’s directions

-set aside in fridge for one hour to cool

-when pudding is cooled, put in a parfait glass layering strawberries then blackberries then pudding

-alternate until glass is almost full and top with fresh fruit

Click here for printable recipe.

I've Got Sunshine On A Cloudy Day

(Originally posted on my old blog "The Domestication of a Punk Rock Foodie" on May 30, 2010)

Lately, there have been a lot of cloudy days. Cloudy health days, cloudy family days, cloudy friend days, cloudy job that I can barely muster up the energy to go to days, and cloudy shitty boy days. What's more troubling are the cloudy I don't want to read or write or do anything remotely creative days.

This does not compute.

What the hell is this block about? What is this indecision and reluctance stuff?

What would Tom Jones do?

What's new pussycat? Whoooooaaaaaaaa-ooooo-ooo...

... brown hair that might be a big ol' bag of nooooooooo....

... pretty red shoes that make all the kids jealous (Note the Denver Hayes tags. I really really did get them from Mark's)....

... after seventeen years, these two finally did the paperwork...

... and these two got all princessy for the special day....

... le sigh...

... this weekend, it snowed....

May 30th and it is snowing.

At this point, I do not even know where to direct my complaints. It is at least our second snow "event" (when did weather become an event??) this month and quite frankly speaking, I was over it before it began. Snow, people. Mutha effin' snow.

The tropics aren't even an option anymore. No. They have become all earthquakey and typhoonie and other weather that wants to make you dead.

You have to know its bad out there when my nieces look out the window with a degree of disgust reserved for when they have to scrape dog poo off their sandals.

"Auntie, this is what you mean when you say something sucks a big bag of bo-bo, right"

Actually, Auntie thinks it sucks a bag of dicks.

"That's right sweetie, a big bag of bo-bo. Want some breakfast?"

SUNNY BREAKFAST FOR THREE
Coffee (for Auntie's only)
Mango Papaya Smoothie
Sun Drop Bagels

COFFEE

Brew it. Mainline it. Purrrrrrrrr.

Disclaimer: I do not receive money or gifts from whateverittakes.org and this picture in no way a promotion. I just really dig the architecture of the cup and what is in it. However, should you be interested in an artwork campaign by public figures from the likes of Ronnie Wood (who designed this particular coffee mug) to Georgio Armani to Desmond Tutu to Renzo Piano, that raises money and awareness for charities all over the world, go here.  Click on "Artwork & Product Gallery" to see some really interesting original pieces of art created to raise cash money for causes that help out those who can't always help themselves.

MANGO PAPAYA SMOOTHIE
 

Serves three.

(You will need a Magic Bullet with a blender attachment for this recipe. A food processor will work as well.)

Ingredients:
1 c. milk (I've used Dairyland Plus 1% Lactose Free Milk cos I like the smoothies but the milk doesn't like me)
1/2 c. Activia vanilla yogurt
1/2 c. frozen mango
1 c. frozen papaya

Method:
-pour the milk and yogurt in the blender and give it a quick blend on the bullet
-add frozen fruit one cube at a time as this will make it easier for the bullet to blend your smoothie
-blend to desired consistency
-pour in cups, add a straw or spoon, get lost in the yummy goodness

SUN DROP BAGELS

(Serves 3)

Ingredients:
3 - 100% whole wheat or whole grain bagels (I've used Dempster's Body Wise 100% Whole Grain bagels... half the calories, all the yum yum)
3 tsp. Philadelphia Low Fat Cream Cheese (95% fat free, we likey)
3 oz. marbled cheddar cheese

Method:
-slice the bagels and toast lightly
-spread one teaspoon (very thinly) on each bagel
-tear the marbled cheddar into bits
-top each bagel with an ounce of the cheddar cheese
-put the bagels on a plate and place in the microwave to melt the cheese
-set your timer for 20 seconds and turn on your microwave
-depending on the strength of your microwave, you may wish to continue melting the cheese; melt in 10 second intervals so you don't scorch the cheese and turn the bagel into a whole wheat piece of rubber

Portabello Mushroom Pizzas

I am a huge fan of the portabello mushroom.  Huge.  I would eat them with every meal if I could and never get bored of them.  Sliced and sauteed in a bit of lemon juice, oyster sauce, and soy sauce... you now have a side for just about any protein you serve.

Later today I'm going to gorge myself on Thanksgiving turkey dinner, so a light lunch is in order.  Portabello pizzas are perfect for such an occasion.

For all of you who live in Canada, Happy Thanksgiving!  Gobble Gobble!

PORTABELLO MUSHROOM PIZZAS

Makes two pizzas.

Ingredients:
2 medium to large sized portabello mushroom caps, stem removed
1 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1/4 c. pizza sauce
2 spring onions, diced
1/4 cheese of choice, grated (I use either skim mozzarella or Kraft's Four Cheese Italiano), divided in half

Method:
-preheat oven to 350 degrees
-wash mushroom caps and pat dry; leave to dry gills side down for about 10 minutes
-after the mushrooms have dried, lightly brush the cap side of the mushroom with olive oil and put cap side down in a baking dish
-bake for 15 minutes
-remove the mushroom caps from the oven and pat dry with paper towel if there is excess moisture in the gills (super important or your pizza with be soupy)
-put two teaspoons of pizza sauce in each cap
-top with onions (and any other toppings you desire)
-top each mushroom with cheese
-return to the oven for five minutes
-after five minutes, turn the oven temperature to broil and broil until the cheese has melted to your liking

Eat Your Broccoli

Broccoli is a cruciferous vegetable from the cabbage family. Ya, that's right, cabbage. It has the same amount of calcium ounce for ounce as milk and contains phytochemicals like beta-carotene, and isothiocyanates which help against the formation, development, and spreading of some cancers.

It doesn't hurt that it goes great with cheese and cranberry ginger fizzy pop.

BAKED CHEESY PASTA AND BROCCOLI
 

Makes four 1/2 cup servings or six 1 cup servings.

Ingredients:

9 pasta nests

1 tbsp. margarine

2 tbsp. flour

2 c. milk

2 c. Mozzarella cheese (you can also use Cheddar or Gruyere)

1/8 tsp. nutmeg

1 tsp. sea salt

1/4 tsp. pepper

10 oz. broccoli florets

cooking spray

Method:

-cook pasta according to manufacturer's directions

-preheat broiler

-heat the butter in a large pot over medium heat

-add the flour and cook for about two minutes, constantly stirring, forming a roux

-whisk in the milk and cook until the mixture is slightly thickened (about 4 - 5 minutes), stirring occasionally

-and 1 1/2 cups of the cheese and stir until the cheese is melted

-add the nutmeg, salt, and pepper

-reduce heat to low and add the pasta and broccoli

-toss to combine

-pour mix into a baking dish that has been sprayed with cooking spray

-sprinkle pasta with the remaining cheese

-broil until cheese reaches desired brownness

Nutritional information (click to enlarge):

 

CRANBERRY GINGER FIZZY POP

Makes 4 servings.

Ingredients:

1 1/4 c. frozen cranberries

zest of half a large orange

1 c. water

1/2 c. unsweetened orange juice

1/3 c. Splenda

1 tbsp. fresh ginger, minced

4 cans club soda

1 lime, sliced into wedges

Method:

-in a saucepan, bring the cranberries, orange zest, water, orange juice, Splenda, and ginger to a boil over high heat

-reduce the heat, cover, and simmer for about 10 minutes or until the cranberries are soft and breaking open

-remove from heat and strain the mixture over a medium sized glass bowl

-using the back of a spoon or ladle, press the mixture through the strainer to extract as much liquid as possible

-repeat if juice is still pulpy

-this should yield about 1 1/3 cup liquid

-let the mix cool to room temperature

-for each serving, pour 1/3 cup into a tall glass and add the club soda

-stir to blend

-add ice if desired

-wedge lime onto rim of glass and serve

Nutritional information (click to enlarge):