Fiscal Responsibility: How I Paid For Dental Work

Last year was a year like no other.  True love came back, true love failed me.  Diabetes, Hashimoto's, and cancer tried to kill me, I bounced back.  I met people who would change my world forever, I said goodbye to people who were too toxic for me to forgive.

There were a lot of changes and one of those things was a commitment to be even more fiscally responsible.  2012 was the year I stopped making "oh its only ten dollars" purchases.  2013 was the year of savings and paying myself an allowance.  Because someone has to pay for my dentist and his lovely wife to go to Africa.  I am convinced Dr. Frank and Anne plan their holidays around my visits.

There are two very easy savings plans trending on the Internet (read that as Pinterest) that I tried with much success.  I barely noticed I was saving money.  These plans are not about deprivation or cash starvation; they are about saving money daily and weekly.

First is the five dollar savings plan.  Whenever you receive a five dollar bill as change, when you return home, you take the five dollars out of your wallet, pocket, sock, shoe, bra, wherever you put your change and put it in a jar, envelope, box, etc.  Set a goal for yourself (for me it was a paying for a root canal because I have a ghetto fantastic medical plan that doesn't cover shit when it comes to your teeth) or a specific dollar amount, and at that time use your fives.  Had I not had to make a mortgage payment on my teeth, by the summer I would have had nearly $600.00 to throw in my savings account.  To be honest, I stopped saving after that point.  The guilt of spending five dollar bills still plagues me to the point where I have started saving five dollar bills again and I am committed to saving them all year long.  Unless Dr. Frank and Anne decide they need to go somewhere exotic, do their voodoo dental dance, and I land in Frank's chair with a tooth ready to fall out of my head.

The second savings plain is being called the 52 week money challenge.  This chart and others like it are making their way around the Internets:

The idea that drives this plain is pretty simple.  Each week you pay yourself an "allowance" and at the end of the year, you will have saved $1378.00.  Again, put the money in a jar, box, envelope, etc.  You can download this chart, or other charts like it, to track your progress throughout the year. If you find yourself a bit short on cash due to buying Christmas presents and spreading Christmas cheer, try starting the chart at the end.  This way, when December comes, paying out your allowance is manageable.  I used the money I saved using this plan to pay for the crown that had go on top of the previously mentioned root canal.  Frank is expensive company.

Be diligent and don't forget to feel the sun when it shines on your lovely face.

Ahh London, How You Taunt Me

Thanks to Cass, I fell in love with The Londoner over the summer.  I'm now living my life through Rose.

London, you and I are going to have to meet soon.

Happy 2013

2012 was a rough one and I'm certainly glad it is over.

As the year came to an end, things have started to look up.  That whole end of the world thing did not happen (worst apocalypse EVER), and I discovered online shopping really is the only way to go when one is doing their Christmas shopping (read the fine print so you do not get beat down by a courier looking for brokerage and customs taxes).

There are no resolutions this year.  It really seems rather pointless and feels like I am setting myself up for failure.  "Do better" is this year's mantra... just do better and be better, in all ways.

One of those ways is my commitment to getting those Pinterest projects done.  Tonight I made this very moist very delicious chicken.  Quick hint: make sure the chicken breasts are snug in the baking dish or the topping will slide off as the chicken comes close to being cooked.  This chicken goes great with pasta and vegetables like asparagus, mushrooms, onions, and peppers.

PS: Glad your back Captain Celery.  I have missed you dearly and love you still.  This year is our year.

Blessed

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So, love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't.
And believe that everything happens for a reason... if you get a chance -- take it; if it changes
     your life -- let it. 
Nobody said it would be easy... they just promised it would be worth it.

~ Unknown

You'll Probably Need A Tissue For This

The Last Post

Read it.  Then hug someone you love.  Then hug everyone you love.

Wordless Wednesday

Blessed

When Buddha spoke of attachment, he wasn't saying that it's wrong to have loving feelings toward family and friends -- a common misinterpretation.  Some newcomers to Buddhism have the mistaken idea that they're supposed to become "detached" -- distant and cut off from the world around them so that they can develop in splendid isolation.  In fact, nothing could be further from Buddha's teachings... love and compassion, not detachment and distance, are the authentic Buddhist path. ~ David Michie (from "Buddhism for Busy People")

Blessed

I love my past.  I love my present.  I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer. ~ Colette

Thy Will Be Done

I do not pretend to understand the universe; it will always have its secrets and I will not always be privy to it's inner workings.

Yes, yes, this is me admitting I do not know everything.  Truth is, I know very little.

What I do know is this...

The universe unfolds as it should and neither you nor I can or should try to control that.  Call it destiny, call it fate, call it the path you are on, call it whatever you want, it is all happening as it should.  If you cannot find you way or you lose your way, the mere act of handing yourself over to the universe will grant you resolve.  But beware.  The universe does not always give you what you want but it will give you what you need.  Do not be greedy.  Accept what comes and understand that the universe is serving your best interests.

Don't believe me?  Think this is just more of my zen floating Buddha talk?  Chew on this: three nights ago I found myself at a crossroads with no answers to the questions I was asking myself, literally exasperated with where I was at.  I handed it all over to the universe and simply said, "Thy will be done."

It was done.

Welcome back Captain Celery.  I have missed you.  I have always loved you.

I have also asked the universe to arrange it so that you will never show up anywhere I am dressed in a Borat mankini.  I don't care how sexy your furry nipples are!

Blessed

It's only when you have mastered the art of loving yourself that you can truly love others.  It's only when you have opened your own heart that you can touch the hearts of others.  When you feel centered and alive, you are in a much better position to be a better person. ~ Robin Sharma

Another Casualty Of My Snobbery

Dear Partylite:

We are over.  It is official.  I am ending this relationship today.  This is where we get divorced.

For twenty years I have loved you, I have defended you, I have stated that while your prices were high, your quality was beyond reproach.  I proclaimed from mountain tops that your scented wax and candle holders were the best there is.  And that you smelled like yummy goodness. And I do not just go around calling things yummy or good.

For the last 18 months I have pondered my affinity for you.  It has not been easy.  You have become even more expensive and increasingly styleless...

There was a time when your scents were amazing and a small votive could fill a room with the smell of yummy goodness.  Now you smell like wax.  Wax flavoured wax.  Which is neither yummy or good.

Your wicks are off centred and you burn badly because of it.  There is sooting on my roof because of it.  Who are you to make me get on a ladder to wash my roof?

And this consultant that sells you to me, even though I have always known she is a crazy bitch, she has crossed the line.  She demands that I start to sell  you.  I do not want to sell you, I want to own you.  I do not want to hear about her super crazy dramatic divorce or have her taking even crazier and more dramatic calls from her kids at my house when she is supposed to be there selling you to me.  That is supposed to be our time.  Not her time for divorce drama and pyramid schemes.

Partylite, I cannot make excuses for you any more.

We are done.

Over.

Through.

More And Less

More time reading books, less time on The Grid.
More writing, less researching.
More healthy food, less detrimental slop.
More cooking, less take out.
More love, less harm.
More grace, less gossip.
More movement, less stagnation.
More light, less blindness.
More wisdom, less acrimony.
More Buddhism, less attachment.

I Do Sam, I Do

(Originally posted on my old blog "The Domestication of a Punk Rock Foodie" on May 12, 2010.)

So I have decided that after Sam Worthington comes to Canada and lands on me and falls in love with me, we are getting married and he is taking me to the Poseidon Undersea Resort in Fiji for our honeymoon.

It is all under water. Can you imagine? How many people can say they took a bath underwater? With Sam Worthington? I know.

Now, if you see Sam, tell him I'm waiting. Patiently.

And slightly stalkerishly.

That is what he gets for being on top of my freebie five list.

Also, feel free to remind Sam that I am worth every penny of the 20K per week this place costs.

Who knew it would cost so much to have under water sexy times without drowning?

For Uncles Who Served, For Al Who Is Still Over There, For A World That Needs Love

Blessing by The Buddha

May every creature abound in well-being and peace.
May every living being, weak or strong, the long and the small
The short and the medium-sized, the mean and the great.
May every living being, seen or unseen, those dwelling far off,
Those near by, those already born, those waiting to be born,
May all attain inward peace.

Let no one deceive another, Let no one despise another in any situation,
Let no one, from antipathy or hatred, wish evil to anyone at all.
Just as a mother, with her own life, protects her only son from hurt,
So within yourself foster a limitless concern for every living creature.


Display a heart of boundless love for all the world,
In all its height and depth and broad extent,
Love unrestrained, without hate or enmity.
Then as you stand or walk, sit or lie, until overcome by drowsiness,
Devote your mind entirely to this, it is known as living here life divine.

Why I'm My Age And Not Married

I get it so you can stop spewing the drivel now.

You think I am broken.

I am.  In a lot of ways.  But not in the ways you were talking about.

I understand that you think that, by no later than the age of 33, a woman should be married, have at least two kids, be a card carrying member of the minivan majority, have a mortgage, and a cabin at a local lake.  Because that's how they did it in 1910, as you so eloquently put it.

I understand that you think I fucked up.

In my defense, what do you really know about me?  Never, not once, not ever have you asked me why I'm not married.  No.  You just froth at the mouth and wax poetic about your kids and what they have accomplished.  We will get back to them in a bit.

What I really want to know is when was I suddenly required to live by and up to your socially conditioned pompous ideals of what a woman should be and do?  Perhaps I didn't get the email/memo/smoke signals or whatever it was they were using back in your day.

Well here is my memo to you...

I want to be married and have a family.  You can keep your minivan and cabin by the lake as, while those things may be desirable for some, I have no desire to live like a stepfordized soccer mom who has been fully lobotomized and is currently living a life that can only be described as vanilla.  Or beige.  This means I will not be settling for the first man who puts his hand between my legs and pretends to get me off, and it certainly means I will not be settling for whatever it is you believe is an "ideal choice."

I am well aware of the fact that I wasted a fair amount of my prime on a man who I was not meant to be with.  I loved him even though he was deeply troubled and stood by him, like a wife stands by a husband, hoping we could both find a way for him to get himself together.  That is what you do when you are already married in your hearts -- stick it out through good times and bad.  No one wanted that relationship to work more than I did.  But it did not work out and when it ended it was like being divorced, or widowed if you want to really know how it felt.  Not all of us get the fairytale ending.

I understand that you think I need to "find a man" and "settle down" and "stop being so goddamn fussy."  You know what?  Fuck.  You.  Being fussy has prevented me from ending up as a statistic; divorced, beaten, raped, single mother -- pick your poison.  And after you are done fucking right off, tell me how many years were you truly happy after you "settled"?  The way you tell it, the way we all hear it, the shine was well worn off before you were even married.  Yes, I totally want that kind of misery in my life.  Because my life has not been difficult enough or painful enough.  Personally, I would rather be on my own than be with a cheating jackass.  You know, like the one you "settled down with."

You should know the biggest reason why I am not married is because I take the whole idea of marriage and being married seriously.  Divorces and pre-nups are not an option in my world.  I take those vows, those promises, seriously.  It is my opinion that most people getting married today do not take the marriage they are about to enter into seriously enough and those people really should not be getting married if they have some kind of exit strategy in place before they even make it to the altar.

I know that because I never had that piece of paper you think I have no idea what it is like to be married, but in my own way I do.  And I know what it feels like to be a widow, just like you.  I will not be making the same mistake again and I certainly will not be taking your advise and "settling."  I want it to be for the right reasons and I'm willing to wait.

I have too much respect for myself to simply settle.

PS:  While you prattle on about how amazing your children are, please don't forget that neither one of them are legally married.  In domestic type relationships, yes, but not married.  And if we were still back in 1910 like you and your ideologies are, being shacked up is much worse than being an old maid.  Just saying.

The Rick Astley Guide To Love

This was sent to me as a joke and a reminder...