You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better. ~ Anne Lamott
(Originally posted on my old blog "The Domestication of a Punk Rock Foodie" on February 27, 2010.)
No, I'm not talking all sexy and stuff. I'm talking curling. I'm talking about Kevin Martin and the boys going undefeated to win a gold medal at the Olympics. Now that's hardcore.
MAKE
Menu (these recipes each serve four):
Herbed Bread Sticks
Chicken Tikka Masala With Jasmine Rice
Cosmopolitan Ice Cups
HERBED BREAD STICKS I used a prepared pizza crust here because I suck at making pizza crusts… they always look like crackers or soufflés when I’m done. Also, this can be served as a roll instead of a stick.
1 tsp. extra virgin olive oil
2 tsp. dried oregano
1 tbsp. dried basil
½ tsp. fennel seeds
¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
½ tsp. rock salt
1 tin prepared pizza crust
-preheat oven to temperature listed on pizza crust tin
-lightly oil a baking sheet
-combine oregano, basil, fennel seeds, red pepper flakes, and salt in a bowl and then divide in half
-sprinkle half of the spice mixture evenly on the lightly oiled baking sheet
-roll out the pizza crust and then transfer to the baking sheet; press the crust down in order to have the crust pick up the herbs on the baking sheet
-roll up the pizza crust and cut in halves until you have 16 pieces (8 pieces if you are making rolls)
-roll these pieces out into bread stick shape with a ½ diameter (if you are making rolls, form the dough into pieces about the size of erasers); do not overwork the dough or it will be tough when finished cooking
-arrange on the baking sheet, about 1 inch apart
-cook on one side for about 5 and then turn and continue to cook for another 3 – 5 minutes, depending on how brown you want them to be coloured
CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA WITH JASMINE RICE While I don’t generally use bottled sauces, using a bottle sauce for this recipe reduces the preparation time and uses fewer ingredients.
4 tsp. extra virgin olive oil ½ onion, finely chopped 1 tbsp. ginger, finely chopped 1tbsp. garlic, finely chopped 2 lbs. chicken breasts, boneless, skinless, cut into 1 inch pieces ¼ tsp. salt 1 can tomato paste 1 tsp. red curry paste 1 can tomatoes, crushed, with juice 1 c. Tikka Masala cooking sauce ½ c. plain yogurt ½ c. water 4 c. cooked jasmine rice (cook according to manufacturer’s directions)
-in a large saucepan, heat olive oil -add onion, ginger, and garlic and cook on medium heat, stirring for about 3 minutes; sprinkle the salt over the mixture so it will sweat rather than brown and burn -add chicken to the pan and cook on medium high heat, stirring constantly for about 5-7 minutes -stir in tomato paste, red curry paste, crushed tomatoes, and tikka masala sauce and cook for about 3 minutes, stirring occasionally -add yogurt and water reduce heat to low, and simmer until the chicken is done, about 10-12 minutes, stirring occasionally -serve hot over rice
COSMOPOLITAN ICE CUPS 1 pkg. strawberry jelly powder 1c. boiling water 1 c. orange sorbet or sherbet 4 strawberries Whipping cream (optional)
-stir in the sorbet until it is completely melted -pour 4 martini or wine glasses (about 10 oz. per glass) -refrigerate for about 2 hours or until firm -top each with sliced strawberry and a dollop of whipping cream, if desired
THINK Don't yield to the temptation of believing that the world can be fixed. Above all, don't yield to the hubris that you can fix it. Realize that your actions can, at best, make some conditions in the world a little more bearable, make suffering a little less painful. But just because this is all you can do, does not mean that you should not do it... do it in the face of all hopelessness. And why? Because to help, to be compassionate, is your highest calling... if you can't do this, if you won't do this, then you are hopeless. -- Dr. Stephan Hoeller
LISTEN Jay Z Featuring Swizz Beatz - On To The Next One Pink - Glitter In The Air Sham 69 - If The Kids Are United
READ So I haven't been able to keep up with my scheduled book a week pace. Mostly because Cosmic Jackpot required a lot of re-reading and going back to review (I'm not a physics geek but I'm a geek for the cosmos). I've put that aside and started Don Miguel Ruiz's Four Agreements: A Practical Guide To Personal Freedom
WATCH In June 2008, J. K. Rowling gave the speech "The Fringe Benefits Of Failure And The Importance Of Imagination". You can find it here. Even if you aren't a Harry Potter fan, its worth a listen. The speech is transcribed below the video.
VISIT Architecture and photography are two of my favorite things. Check out the The Kings Of Architectural Photography page here.
GO GREEN To remove coffee and mineral stains from the pot on your coffee maker, add 3 cups ice cubes or crushed ice 1/3 cup water, and 1/2 cup salt to the pot. Swirl the pot for about 2 minutes, rinse, and then wash. To remove coffee or tea stains from a coffee mug, rub the stained areas with salt and then rinse with water. Repeat until stains are gone. Wash mug before using again.
(Originally posted on my old blog "The Domestication of a Punk Rock Foodie" on January 06, 2010.)
I have been smoking at work. Go ahead, judge.
I’ve also been longing for last week where it was all about me and fresh pj’s. I thought I missed work. Turns out, not so much. The problem with going on Christmas break is that, while you are away, the paper gremlins come along and turd out faxes and mail all over the place and you are left to dig through piles of paper to find your desk. Rumor has it I still have a desk on the cube farm but its currently cleverly disguised as a paper holder. When you look at it from the right angle, my desk actually looks like piles of paper are levitating. All week I have been losing my mouse and keyboard which is cool with me because when I opened my email on Monday morning, there were 96 (not including spam) reasons to grab my stuff and go back home.
I think now would be a good time to adopt my niece's philosophy about asses and sofas.
When asked what she was going to do for Christmas break, my niece Janelle responded, “Park my arse on the sofa and read.” She’s eleven and deeply profound. Her verbage cracked me up. When I was half her age, I came home from school and ALLEGEDLY said a particular boy was a fecking koont (say it in your head with a Scottish accent. Uh huh, now you’re getting it). I cut Janelle some slack on this one because someone cut me slack when I was a kid and she didn’t rat me out to the Proper Authority Figures when I ALLEGEDLY said a sales clerk at Please Mum could go suck a bag of dicks.
Don’t be all judgey. You would have done the same.
Perhaps you would have had more tact and said something less vulgar but who the hell asks for your name, address, phone number, email address, and work phone number when you are purchasing a shirt? And paying cash? I still have no idea why this rocket scientist who was cleverly disguised as a sales clerk wanted this information. When I asked her why she required this information as all I wanted to do was pay for a $10.00 shirt, I was the recipient of one of those minimum wage sighs, followed by the obligatory mall employee eye roll, and the embellished “now I have to work” banging of the finger on the delete key on the till. I’m sure I’ll be going straight to her version of consumer hell for adding wear and tear to her trailer park low budget press on nail manicure, but I will never understand why purchasing a shirt requires surrendering my personal information. Consequently, I dropped the “suck a bag of dicks” bomb, Janelle giggled, and I took solace in knowing karma was going to keep that snotty little girl working in a mall, lunching in a food court, and wearing a name tag for a living.
Stay in school kids.
I’m not going to lie, I didn’t do much on my break. Apparently, I put in one day at work . We started at 8.00 am and left at 1.00 pm. What was actually accomplished in that time was nominal but the good news is, Whoville got packed away and it doesn’t look like Christmas puked in certain offices any more.
What did I actually do for a week? I stayed up late and slept in a lot even though I was totally convinced this was going to be the week I was going reset my body clock. Hmmm not so much. . The week was really an homage to pajamas and snacking.
I was completely relaxed and romantic during the break too. I made love to my sofa, love seat, chair, computer chair and bed.
In an effort to feel like I had accomplished something, I did two things. First, if something was tucked away in a drawer or closet and I was annoyed by its existence, I put it in the middle of the room and found a permanent home or garbage can for that item. Secondly, I ripped apart a wardrobe that serves as a book shelf and desk and a catcher of all things I can’t be arsed to put away where they belong. I did this last August on my vacation too.
How the hell did I accumulate so much shit in four months?
When I did this exercise in August, I was determined to keep all my shit organized. When I was done cleaning, sorting, alphabetizing, purging, and shredding, the inside of the wardrobe looked lovely. It was a ode to organization. For a day. Maybe two. Chaos started with ATM receipts. I save them and reconcile them with my bank statements. I used to be really good at this. Used to be. Every month when my bank statement arrived, I would be on it that night, highlighting and shredding and it was all good. Now? Let’s just say that the ATM receipts that weren’t in the bottom of my purse or preventing my wallet from being closed, were in a crumpled pile in a Ziploc. Did I mention I spend a large portion of my day accounting and filing? Scandalous, I know. I’m down to two piles to sort out. And yes, one of those piles is four months of ATM receipts.
MAKE Menu Banana Strawberry Smoothie Scones Quinoa Porridge
BANANA STRAWBERRY SMOOTHIE 2 c. banana 2 c. strawberry 1 c. milk 1 c. strawberry or vanilla yogurt
-peel and slice bananas -wash strawberries and cut tops off -put fruit in blender or food processor with yogurt and milk -blend to desired consistency and serve immediately
SCONES ¼ c. cold butter 1 ½ c. all purpose flour ¼ c. sugar ½ tsp. cinnamon 1 tbsp. baking powder ¼ tsp. baking soda 2 eggs ½ c. butter milk (if unavailable, add 2 tsp. lemon juice to 2% or skim milk) 1 c. fruit or cheese of choice
-preheat oven to 350 degrees -combine dry ingredients -beat one egg and combine it with the buttermilk -thread the butter through the dry ingredients until texture is like gravel -add the milk and egg mixture and mix -add fruit or cheese; blend through batter -mix and separate into two balls -flatten the balls into two disks, five to six inches in diameter -slice each disk into four sections and place on an ungreased cookie sheet -beat the second egg and brush it on the scones as a glaze -bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until the scones are brown
QUINOA PORRIDGE ½ c. quinoa ¼ tsp. cinnamon 1 ½ c. almond milk (or soy with 1 tsp. almond extract) ½ c. water 2 tbsp. brown sugar 1 tsp. vanilla 1 pinch salt
-preheat saucepan over medium heat and measure in quinoa -season with cinnamon and cook until toasted, stirring frequently -pour in the almond milk, water, vanilla, and stir in the brown sugar and salt -bring to a boil and cook over low heat until thick and grains are tender (about 25 minutes) -add more water if liquid has dried up before porridge finishes cooking -stir occasionally to prevent burning
THINK You should not take part in your own persecution. – Bobby Seale
LISTEN Pixie Lott – Cry Me Out Dan Balan – Chica Bomb The Buzzcocks – What Do I Get
READ Chantel Simmons – Stuck in Downward Dog
WATCH The Nature Of Things: The Everlasting Oasis
Start here:
VISIT The future of books, here today… audible.com
GO GREEN Have a swap meet with your friends. The idea is that everyone gets together and swaps belongings they no longer want or use. Anything left over immediately goes to a donation bin.
(Originally posted on my old blog "The Domestication of a Punk Rock Foodie" on August 08, 2009.)
Sundays are a great day for brunch and a book. And after hectic Saturdays, I heart them.
I work Monday to Friday and I try to do all my errands and chores on Saturdays. Usually this means by 4:00 I'm a manic, exhausted, chain smoking hawt mess because I hate people who are out in public on Saturdays... most of the people... and really really really hate the ones that are out on Saturdays, murdering me one minute at a time in a line at a store. Ohhhh I know you know what I'm talking about. The dumbasses at the till, still shopping even though being in line at the till indicates you are finished doing what you need to do in the store, want to pay for your shit (so the bag boy doesn't body check you into the display at the front doors and have you arrested by mall security) and leave. Ya, those fuckers. I always end up in line behind them. Hate them. I hate them with a such a passionate rancor it makes me want to spew bile. It makes me a bad Buddhist, I know, I know. But surely even Buddha would get his robe in a knot if he had his life shaved off him while standing in line behind these assholes.
Another thing I can't stand about lines is people who ram their carts into me. Here's the thing about that... I have a fat ass. You can't miss it. Its flat but its fat and if you have eyes in your head, whoop, there it is. Therefore the "Sorry, didn't see you!" argument fails. Big. Epic. Fail. Pushing your cart into my fat ass will not get you and your groceries to the till, scanned, bagged, and out the door any faster. I do not possess a magic ass that, when a cart is inserted in it, unleashes the grocery store faeries who you imagine will poetically swoop down, check out your groceries and get you out the door, ahead of everyone else. No, its a very normal ass. Its an ass that functions in an exit-only manner so keep your dreams of anal grocery cart action and faeries to yourself. Please, just back up, chill out, and realize that we all have to stand here and wait our turn.
Now you know why I like to become one with the sofa or a chair on the deck on Sundays. The best way to get that started is a great breakfast.
LOWER FAT BANANA MUFFINS Make these first so they are all lovely and warm when you are done making your lemonade and eggs. Feel free to add 2/3 cup dried fruit and/or a 1/2 of chopped nuts for added flavour and texture. And calories, but good calories. Not bad fast food death calories.
Ingredients: 1 1/4 c. all purpose flour 1/2 c. whole wheat flour 2 1/4 tsp. baking powder 2 1/4 tsp. baking soda 1/2 tsp. salt 2/3 c. sugar (I like to use Splenda's brown sugar) 2 egg whites (or 1 whole egg), beaten 3 tbsp. canola oil (extra virgin olive oil will work too) 3 tbsp. soy milk 1 tsp. vanilla 1/2 tsp. allspice (you can use cinnamon and/or nutmeg too) 2 bananas, mashed paper muffin cups Pam olive oil spray
Method: -preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit -combine all dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl -make a well and add wet ingredients -mix by folding the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients; make sure you don't over mix as this will overwork the batter and you won't have all those lovely pockets of air the baking soda and powder create -very lightly spray muffin tin with Pam -line muffin tin with paper cups -fill the cups between 1/2 and 3/4 full -bake for 20 minutes -do the sexy toothpick trick (insert, pull out... clean = done, wet = cook more, in 5 minute increments)
STRAWBERRY LEMONADE The night before you make this recipe, hull and halve one cup of strawberries and put them in a sealed container in the freezer. These will double as a garnish as well as a fruity ice cube when you are putting the finishing touches on this drink.
Ingredients: 1 c. sugar or Splenda 1/2 c. water 2 c. fresh strawberries, washed, stemmed, and sliced 1 c. fresh lemon juice, strained (You can use the bottled juice but may have to adjust your sugar to compensate for the acidity) 24 oz. sparkling water (I've been known to use any of the following: San Pelligrino, Perrier, Club Soda.) 1 c. frozen strawberries, hulled and halved
Method: -combine the sugar (or Splenda) and water in a saucepan and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until the sugar dissolves and the mixture becomes clear -pour into a blender or food processor -add the fresh strawberries and lemon juice and puree until evenly blended -in a large pitcher, mix the puree with the sparkling water -place frozen strawberries in glasses and pour the mixture over the frozen strawberries
GOURMET SCRAMBLED EGGS There aren't any measurements to go with this recipe. The ingredient list is something that you can play with and adjust to your palate. Have all your ingredients ready because this recipe cooks fast.
Ingredients: eggs fresh spinach fresh basil (you can use fresh oregano as well) salt pepper shredded cheese or crumbled cheese (like feta) salsa low fat sour cream Pam spray silicon or rubber spatula
Method: -chiffonade spinach and basil, set aside -shred or crumble cheese, set aside -beat eggs -spray a non-stick pan with Pam to thinly coat the pan -turn heat to medium -add salt and pepper to eggs and beat well -add eggs to heated pan and constantly folding and scrambling the eggs using the spatula; if you are using a rubber spatula, don't leave the spatula in the pan or it will melt -add spinach and basil -after about 30 - 45 seconds, turn off heat and continue to cook using residual heat -add shredded cheese and fold into eggs -plate and top with salsa and sour cream, if desired
THINK Find out what you are afraid of and go live there. ~ Chuck Palahniuk (from Invisible Monsters
LISTEN Jay-Z, Kanye, Rihanna - Run This Town (for Amy) Lauryn Hill - Lose Yourself Exploited - Maggie (BIG c-bomb warning... these guys hated Margaret Thatcher and what she did to the U.K. during her reign as the Iron Lady)
READ Sun Tzu - The Art Of War
This book was written in the sixth century but contains tactics used in modern era warfare by the likes of Mao Zedong and General George Macarthur. That being said, this is not a manual on waging war. The Art Of War is less about war and more about outsmarting your opponents and adversaries, in an effort to avoid a physical and armed conflict via negotiation and strategy.
Leo Laporte, the Tech Guy... he makes that technogoobledygock make sense to me. GO GREEN Use olive oil as furniture polish (this is for polished wood only): -combine two parts olive oil with one part lemon juice in a bowl -using a lint free cloth (micro fibre cloths work well), rub into the wood, following the direction of the grain of the wood
